Archive | January, 2012

Top Ten Greatest Moments of the South Carolina Primaries

22 Jan

Originally posted on The Nation

1. The biggest shock of the night is that it’s a Saturday night and MSNBC isn’t screening Lockdown.

2. #DontBother is trending on Twitter. I’m pretty sure that was Twitter talking to Mitt Romney.

3. The Romney rally does the wave, demonstrating just how in touch the Romney campaign is with the American people… circa 1997. The empty Mitt Romney podium visible as we wait for the Governor to arrive serves as the perfect Mittaphor: it’s there, and it says Mitt Romney, but there’s nothing actually behind it.

4. Ron Paul shows up in an outfit that suggests he’s trying to steal some of Rick Santorum’s sweater vest thunder and says: “[crazy, crazy, crazy, something smart on foreign policy, crazy, crazy, crazy, something smart on special interests, gold is good, end the fed, crazy, crazy, crazy].”

5. Rick Santorum comes out (sans sweater vest, which may be the reason he lost). He proclaims that he and his grandfather are among the people who hold on tightly to their guns and Bibles. But in the case of his grandfather, I’m pretty sure he means he holds on tightly to his hammer and sickle.

6. Chris Matthews delivers absolutely terrible news to Florida when he says that Gingrich “is gonna hit all the erogenous zones down there.”

7. Newt surprises world by not coming out on a litter carried by poor children.

8. Newt calls out the elites. Because nothing screams salt of the earth more than a man with a Tiffany’s habit.

9. Newt also demonstrates how in touch he is with the American—and specifically South Carolinian—people, by dropping an always-resonant Saul Alinsky reference.

10. Obama supporters worldwide pray that Florida is just as racist as South Carolina, that they find a moderator of color and that the moderator brings up Gingrich’s affairs.

What Marianne Gingrich and Al Green Teach Us About the Man Who Could Be President

20 Jan

Originally posted on The Nation

Last night’s 179th GOP debate of the season taught us so much, again, about the GOP candidates: socialism for the military, no government at all for anyone else, protect zygotes, execute humans, “I swear I never once provided a single person with healthcare”/ “Yes you did!”/ “Did not!”/ “Did too!,” etc. But the biggest revelations of last night did not occur at the debates.

Thursday, I blogged about Marianne Gingrich, one of Newt’s several exes, and her tell-a-little interview (and how inconceivable sex with Newt Gingrich was to me). That was based on a mere preview of Marianne’s interview that ABC had released. But after the debate, ABC ran the entire at-least-a-couple-of-minutes-long interview. Here’s what stood out:

• Gingrich left his first wife after she got cancer and left Marianne after she got MS. The take-away is that at least Newt is consistent and that Callista better take her multi-vitamins, though she does have her age on her side.

• It was while he was cheating on his wife that Newt crucified Clinton for his infidelity and stated that there was “no administration with less moral authority than the Clinton-Gore administration.”

• Marianne Gingrich knows about only “some of” the skeletons Newt keeps in his closet since, presumably, he has more skeletons than could fit in one closet or one person’s mind. And, of course, Newt has continued collecting skeletons since leaving his wife, so she’s in the dark on those.

So, last night, we learned, or relearned, that Newt Gingrich is seriously one of the most disgusting, cheating, hurtful, wife-hopping people in the world. We also learned something about President Obama that puts him on the other end of the disgusting/adorable spectrum. And that is that he can sing! Which he did, at a fundraiser at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. Perhaps Newt’s unfaithfulness (and the fact that Al Green was at the fundraiser) was what made Obama sing a few (too few) bars from Green’s classic, “Let’s Stay Together” and, specifically, the words “I’m so in love with you.” I pity the wives of Gingrich, but I envy Michelle Obama. See the video and look out for the president’s Kermit the Frog moves. It should convince the “there’s no difference between a Republican and a Democrat” crowd that, when it comes to Gingrich and Obama, there’s a huge difference, at least on a personal level. And, of course, as we all know, the personal is political.

How Fox News would have covered MLK

20 Jan

I was on The Young Turks with Cenk Uygur on Current TV. Fellow, Cheryl Contee, and Tricia Rose.

(For a better quality clip, go here!)

Rick Perry’s Greatest Hits: He’s Gone But Not Forgotten

20 Jan

Originally posted on The Nation

Rick Perry may have quit the race—at a Wendy’s, appropriately—but his words will always be with us. Here are some of the gems he said during the campaign. We’ll always have the memories! And the video! Perry has endorsed Gingrich, in his latest gaffe, and Newt has officially asked Perry to head a Tenth Amendment enforcement project for him. I would have gone with the Second:

Shocking Revelation: It Was Newt, Not His Wife, Who Wanted to Have an Open Relationship!

19 Jan

originally posted on The Nation

Personally, I would hate to be married to Newt Gingrich. If I were, I imagine I’d consider seeking refuge from the smug, odious, racist, classist, Garbage Pail Kid/Michelin Man hybrid in the arms of another. I wouldn’t be nervous about Gingrich cheating on me not because of his character, but because I would find it inconceivable that any other woman would find him attractive. One is just a fluke.  But, shockingly enough, it was Newt who wanted to have an open marriage. Well, that’s not fair, he wanted to have a mistress and cheat on his wife, but when he finally admitted to cheating on his wife, he asked for an open marriage to accommodate what was then a six-year-long affair.

See the video here.

The GOP Debate and the Worst Segue Ever From Martin Luther King Day

18 Jan

originally posted on The Nation

One of the best, and most telling, parts of last night’s debate took place before the debate even started. In all fairness, it’s already really awkward to hold a debate on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the last state to acknowledge the day as a federal holiday (in 2000). On top of that, there’s the whole ideological antithesis between King on the one hand and Fox News and the GOP candidates on the other. And then, add to that killer combo a candidate who doesn’t want to help “blah” people, a candidate who actually voted against making Martin Luther King Jr. Day a holiday and would have (his words not mine) voted against the civil rights bill and… I could go on, but I’d literally be here all day. Perhaps nothing captured the awkwardness and inappropriateness of the when-and-where of the GOP debate more than the painfully awkward and inappropriate segue from acknowledging Martin Luther King Jr. Day to starting the debate, when moderator and Fox News host Bret Baier said,

“Today, as you know, is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. As we look live at the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in Washington, its first year on the mall, we’re reminded of one of the many notable quotes from the late Dr. King. ‘The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in a moment of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.’ This campaign has been filled with challenge and controversy. The challenges are large. Here in South Carolina, the unemployment rate is near 10 percent, well above the national average. And on this MLK Day, unemployment in African-American communities is near 16 percent. But the controversy on the campaign trail in recent days has been about Governor Romney’s record. We are going to talk extensively about jobs, federal debt, world hotspots and social issues, but, first, let’s clear the air.”

Check out the video. The awkwardness starts at 2:25.

Top Three Right-Wingers of the Week: ‘Information’ on Newt Gingrich’s Black Father and Other Goodies

17 Jan

originally posted on The Nation

The right wing is filled with hate and insanity, but every now and then someone does something that manages to shock even the most jaded observer. This week brings us three particularly over-the-top right-wing nuts. First, there’s James David Manning, a New York City pastor and birther—did I mention he’s black?—who has “inside information” about Newt Gingrich’s black father. The inside information is actually an inference based on his deductive reasoning and Gingrich’s middle name: “Newt’s real name is Newton Leroy McPherson. Nobody on the planet names their children Leroy except black people, just like nobody on the planet names their sons Hector except Hispanic people.” Newt Gingrich being “miscegenated,” as Manning puts it, by a white mother and “a liberal but educated black man” explains why Gingrich is so “erratic.” “But that ain’t all,” says the pastor, who goes on:

“Mitt Romney? His name is Willard! WILLAAAAARD! I think that he’s probably the son of a pyscho and that’s why he acts the way he acts. And I believe that Willard has some black blood in his too…. Somewhere down the line.”

Manning even hypothesizes about the circumstances under which Newt and Mitt were conceived. Demonstrating a fetish for hot rich-white-women-on-black-sleeping-car-porters romance, the man of the cloth fantasizes that

“these politicians’ and rich people’s wives used to take these long train rides and these sleeping car porters didn’t have anything to do, the women were bored…and the black sleeping car porter Leroy and Willard, they were there serving coffee and tea with their white jackets and black pants on. And Mrs. Romney and Mrs. McPherson took ’em in the sleeping car. These black men in the sleeping car.”

New Video: Mitt Romney Debates Martin Luther King

16 Jan

Top GOP Tweets of the Week

12 Jan

Originally posted on The Nation

The Republican candidates are the gift that keeps on giving. Whether they’re bragging about being dangerous, calling anyone who isn’t a millionaire “envious” or running around like a corporate lobbyist in a populist’s clothing, these GOP politicians never fail to provide comedic gold. While their soundbites have been combed, their tweets are relatively unmined. Let’s take a look at these nuggets of fun. (The following are screen shots I took of their actual tweets.)

You know his donations shot through the roof after this tweet. Even I donated. A girl can dream.

This is a double whammy! Gingrich thinks it’s noteworthy to be endorsed by major intellectual and political heavyweight Todd Palin. And the Newt seems to endorse someone else for president.

Jon Huntsman engages in some hot Mormon-on-Mormon folksy fighting.

But what if these will ideals refuse to accept your generous offer?

Cain doesn’t seem to get how primaries work. (I know he’s suspended his campaign, but Cain’s still in the race, for me, until he unsuspends he campaign and then terminates it.)

Ron Paul’s Twitter feed links to this photo. Ron prefers showing photos of himself with his son over actually appearing with his son. Rand was absent from the stage when Ron, surrounded by every other relative he could find, addressed his supporters in New Hampshire. I think he told his Rand not to come on stage with him because he made babies cry when he stood on the stage in Iowa.

Santorum Defenders Unwittingly Call Their Candidate a Liar

11 Jan

originally posted on The Nation

Dear Rick Santorum defenders: you are screwed. Your candidate has boxed himself, and by extension you, into a corner by telling two conflicting stories about his “blah people” comment. Santorum has made it impossible for you to defend him without defending at least one lie. The problem is, Santorum doesn’t just have a “blah” people problem, which I blogged about Tuesday—he has an honesty problem. Just to recap:

1. Sunday, Santorum told a crowd in Iowa, “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

2. Monday, a reporter asked Santorum “You said you didn’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them someone else’s money. Why would you say that?”

3. At this point, Santorum does not dispute that he made this comment about “black people.” He doesn’t say, “I didn’t say that,” but explains (in a bizarre way) why he said what he did about black people: “I’ve seen that quote, I haven’t seen the context in which that was made. Yesterday I talked for example about a movie called, um, what was it? Waiting for Superman, which was about black children* and so I don’t know whether it was in response and I was talking about that.”

4. Wednesday, Santorum had an epiphany and realized he had said “blah” people, not black people: “[I] didn’t recall using that particular word.… It was probably tongue-tied moment.… In fact, I’m pretty confident I didn’t say ‘black.’ I sort of started to say a word and sort of mumbled it and changed my thought. I don’t recall saying ‘black.’ No one in the audience heard me say that.” (He probably also remembered that some of his “best friends are blah” too.)

What is a Santorum-positive person supposed to do? There are two possibilities, and both of them, well, suck:

1. Defend Santorum’s Wednesday claim that he never said “black,” which means he was lying on Monday when he admitted he had said it. I call this group Wednesday Santorum supporters.

2. Defend Santorum for saying “black” people, arguing that it’s either not a big deal or that what he said wasn’t racist. This, of course, means Santorum was honest Sunday and Monday and only lied Wednesday when he denied saying “black people.” I call this group Monday Santorum supporters.

Have fun, Santorum fans. No matter what you say, whether you’re a Monday or a Wednesday Santorum supporter, you’re saying your guy is a liar. To help you decide which route to go, I present you with video of the two different Santorum defense models. In the Colbertian (Wednesday) model, Stephen Colbert argues that Santorum never said black. And in the Cainian (Monday) model, Herman Cain argues that Santorum said “black” people, but just made a poor choice of words in demonizing poor black people instead of all poor people. I’ll let you decide which one is more laughable.
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:405560
*The film is about students of all races, but I guess Santorum only remembered the needy black children.

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