mccain

Sarah Palin was ambushed by Charlie Gibson with a gotcha question about the Bush Doctrine. Well, maybe Palin isn't an expert on the current president's doctrine, but, as her hero Virginia Woolf would have it, the governator has a doctrine of one's own, the Palin Doctrine, which strikes a balance between governmental largess and governmental neglect. Under said doctrine, for example, the government will pay for basic necessities such as installing a tanning bed in the Governor's mansion. We all know a depressed Governor makes a depressed state, and nothing gets rid of Seasonal Anxiety Disorder better than a fake tan. So Palin was acting with the economic and emotional wellbeing of Alaska in mind, when she had a tanning bed installed in her house. As the women of Wasilla know, however, the Palin doctrine doesn't rejects government hand-outs such as rape kits. During Palin's mayorlty, women were stuck with the tab for their forensic exams, which range from $300 to $1,200. Palin refuses to perpetuate the endless cycle of rape-victim welfare. By paying for rape kits, the government would be rewarding people who break their abstinence-only pledges, which, as we all know, are sacred to the entire Palin family, especially Bristol. But by charging rape victims, the government encourages women to keep their purity pledges to their fathers. Plus the expense, makes women think twice about crying wolf, thus helping to reduce Alaska's per capita rape rate, which stands among the highest in our great nation.

Katie's blog

Fake Alaskins/ Real Palin fans Explain When Choice is Political and When Choice is Personal

Katie's blog

I Heard Somebody Say “Drill Baby Drill”/ RNC Inferno

Forget about the "Drill here, Drill now!" jingle. "Drill Baby Drill" is the new and improved Freudian phallic call to action.

"Drill Baby Drill," the chant that dominated the RNC on Wednesday night, is all up in our national discourse's grill. Wired Science Magazine just announced a "Drill, Baby, Drill!" remix contest. And on today's Meet the Press, Thomas Friedman got his panties all up in a bunch over the drilling national anthem, which he compared to, " demanding, 'IBM Selectric typewriters, IBM Selectric typewriters'... on the eve of the IT revolution, the revolution of PCs and the internet." Friedman acknowledged he wasn't there at the Excel Center. But you know who was (and has two opposable thumbs)? THIS guy. So, allow me to share.

I'll never forget sitting in a sea of white people, encouraging everyone to "Drill, Baby, Drill." Not that I don't love the "Drill Here, Drill Now" classic, coined by John McCain. But there's something especially catchy and inspiring about "Drill, Baby, Drill." And it inspired me to think the following:

1) I need to write an oil exploration cover of the song The Trammps' (Burn, baby, burn) Disco Inferno. FYI, I already started my cover of Jesus Jones' Right Here/ Right Now which goes a little something like this: Drill Here/ Drill Now/ There is no other place/ I'd like to drill.

2) There could be an inverse relationship between how much Republicans get laid and how much they support laying pipe in natural reserves. If Republicans got their own drill on, would they be less "excited" by the vicarious drilling exploits and conquests proposed by Mc-Palin?

Katie's blog

Women for McCain video!

The Palin Doctrine: You Pay for Your Rape Kit, I'll Pay for my Tanning Bed

Fake Alaskins/ Real Palin fans Explain When Choice is Political and When Choice is Personal

I Heard Somebody Say “Drill Baby Drill”/ RNC Inferno

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