Michelle Obama

1. Karl Rove wants to bone Michelle Obama

He recently described Barack as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by." Looks like someone wants Michelle to be his baby mama. It's OK Karl. This is where the healing starts.

2. If the caribou could speak, they would say "Build Us a Pipeline!"
Although the liberal media wants you to believe otherwise, the real champions for animal rights are the Republicans, not the Democrats. Look at pipeline-hugger Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., and her animal-centric advocacy for oil drilling in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Reserve: "Some suggestions are that perhaps we would see an enhancement of wildlife expansion because of the warmth of the pipeline..." Bachman argues that the drilling is already providing the social and caffeine dependent caribou with a meeting place, or, as she explains,"coffee klatch."

3. If we talk about torture, we let the CSPAN-watching terrorists win
Vice President Dick Cheney's top adviser David Addington rightly refuses to answer Congress's questions on his involvement in torture memos. He explains to pushy terrorist-enabler Bill Delahunt (D-MA) "you kind of communicate with al Qaeda. If you do--I can't talk to you, al Qaeda may watch CSPAN." Anyone who knows anything about islamofascism and/or cable service knows that Al quada hearts CSPAN, which is one of the few channels you can actually get in Afghani caves.

4. McCain chief strategist praying for terrorist attack on the U.S.
McCain strategist Charlie Black says of another terrorist attack on U.S., "certainly it would be a big advantage to him." Let's keep our fingers crossed!

5. Scratch that, McCain chief strategist was suffering from a good old fashioned case of delirium-inducing blueballs.
Turns out Black is "a good guy." He was just thinking with his other head, and was distracted by the "tremendous reporter cleavage," according to former McCain strategist Mike Murphy.

The Obama pound, exchanged between Michelle and Barack on Tuesday night, marked a historic moment. Yeah, there's that whole first black nominee for president thing. But more significant, is the fact that the greeting which has been described by confused white journalists as a "fist bump," "closed-fist high-five," "a frat-tastic fist bump" and a "'Hezbollah' style fist-jabbing" is finally being introduced to mainstream culture. The introduction of "The Pound" into our national vocabulary will have ripple effects. It already has. People previously unfamiliar "the pound" are seeing the world in a whole new way. For instance, they should now realize that when the New York Times' Ashley Parker wrote about Reggie Love "offering closed-fist high-fives to members of the news media…." she was not describing a painful caveman greeting, but said pound. (I think the Times owes Reggie a correction.) I can't find an official history or definition of the pound, but here is what I found on Ubrandictionary.com

1. pound: a greeting between two mutual friends. In reality, a fist from one person is "pounded" against the fist of the other person, accompanied by both persons saying "pound."
2. Pound: The knocking of fists as a form of greeting, departure, or respect see daps
3. Dap: The knocking of fists together as a greeting, or form of respect. He gave me a dap when we greeted.
4. dap: a fist-on-fist greeting, front-to-front as if each person is punching each other on the hand. He gave me a dap when we greeted
5. dap: The Dap includes simple to very intricate series of rhythmic hand slaps, clasps, hand and arm gestures exchanged between two persons as a sign of personal greeting, respect and group solidarity. Has origin in greetings developed and practiced by members of Black Power organizations founded in southern California in the early 1970s and then became common place and outlawed practice among African-American draftees and soldiers stateside and abroad during the latter years of the Vietnam War. Was soon adopted by huge duck bill cap, suspender and knicker attired African-American street and club dancers who originated the dance known as "Lockstepping." Best known Lock Stepper is Fred Barry aka Rerun from the hit 1970s black TV sitcom, "What's Happenin'?" simplest of Daps is to tap closed fists together one time horizontally or vertically.

Emergency update! The Right Wing pundit who creatively described the pound between Michelle and Barack as "'Hezbollah' style fist-jabbing" must have read my post. His blog post no longer contains the following sentence:

"Michelle is not as "refined" as Obama at hiding her TRUE feelings about America—etc. Her "Hezbollah" style fist-jabbing—mouth-twisted anti-American speeches is STRAIGHT from ISLAM!"

Thank you for admitting you were wrong. I interpret your delete as an apology and I accept it.