Just Released: Obama's Shortlist for Surgeon General

Dr. Gregory House Image via Wikipedia

Politicos from Paul Krugman to Congressman Conyers are going into cardiac arrest over Barack Obama's controversial pick for Surgeon General, Sanjay Gupta. The president-elect may have to choose an alternative nominee from his recently released shortlist:

Dr. Gregory House Pros: Superb doctor, raises awareness about disabilities issues, videogenic. Cons: Difficult to get along with, comes across as arrogant and offensive, could tease Sasha and Malia, hit on Michelle and pull pranks on Barack.

Dr. Doug Ross Pros: Sensitive, even more videogenic, great with people. Cons: Hasn't practiced in years.

Dr. Doogie Houser Pros: Inspiring for young people. Cons: Could conjure dangerous medical overconfidence in young people.

Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Pros: War hero. Cons: Suffers from Korean War flashbacks.

Carla Espinosa Pros: Inspiring for women, immigrants, people of color and Dominicans. Bilingual, good communicator, famous for advising and counseling. Cons: She's just a nurse.