Happy Veterans Day, everyone! From the looks of it, Veterans Day is about the glory of war, the bravery of our soldiers, the awesomeness of our discounts! But it turns out that the way we celebrate this holiday has nothing to do with the way the holiday was intended.
1. It wasn’t even called Veterans Day. Veterans Day used to be called Armistice Day and was a commemoration of when, on “the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month” of 1918, the allies and Germans negotiated a cessation of hostilities to what would later be called World War I. On November 11th, 1919, President Woodrow Wilson observed the one year anniversary of Armistice Day in a speech.
To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations.
2. It was the commemoration of the end of the War to End All Wars. Today, there is no trace of pacifism or anti-militarism in the way we Veterans Day. But, at the time, the war which killed 10 million military members and 7 million civilians and injured 20 million people was called the Great War or the World War or, most significantly, “the war to end all wars.” H.G. Wells called it “The War that Will End War” in a Daily News article published on August 14th, 1914:
This is already the vastest war in history. It is a war not of nations, but of mankind. It is a war to exorcise a world-madness and end an age… For this is now a war for peace. It aims straight at disarmament. It aims at a settlement that shall stop this sort of thing for ever. Every soldier who fights against Germany now is a crusader against war. This, the greatest of all wars, is not just another war—it is the last war!
Politico published a very nuanced critique of Valerie Jarrett, a senior advisor to President Obama, with the equally nuanced title, “Fire Valerie Jarrett.” The piece, by Carol Felsenthal, isn’t very good journalism, since it mostly repeats and recycles the research of other people and doesn’t have any real new information or insights. But it would make for a great middle school book report, specifically a great middle school book report on Chuck Todd’s forthcoming The Strangerand the Ebook Obama’s Last Stand by Glenn Thrush from 2012. While reading the article I was struck by the tone, which reminded me of something I couldn’t at first remember. Then it came to me: Mean Girls, the 2004 comedy, starring Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and Tina Fey about mean, cliquish, gossipy high school students. I realized that the article works perfectly when broken down into its cattiest pieces and set to GIFs from the film So, without any further ado, I present quotes from the article juxtaposed with Mean Girls GIFs. The headings are my words, by the quotes are all Felsenthal.
Someone needs to get her out of here!
“Almost since the start of Barack Obama’s presidency, people who have actual, real duties in the West Wing of the White House—the working, executive part of the government, that is—have been urging him to do something about Valerie Jarrett. Push her into the East Wing, where she can hang out with Michelle Obama and the White House social secretary, or give her an ambassadorship—or something—but for Pete’s sake get her out of the way of the hard work of governing that needs to be done.”
Today, my fellow Americans, we have the chance to exercise our hard-earned right to vote for some people I can’t actually believe are running for office. Here’s a mere sampling of some of the most batshit crazy things said and done by candidates who want your vote.
1. Bob Quast: #GotBalls? Because He’ll Blow them Off! This Iowa Independent Senate candidate won’t let any man’s testicles get in the way of his Second Amendment rights. As Quast explained in his campaign ad, “If you are the sexual predator and sociopath who murdered my sister Lynette and you come to my front door to do harm to my girls, I’m going to use my Glock. To blow your balls off.” Quast is not afraid of hashtags, either. As his Youtube page for the ad boasts, “Bob believes in #termlimits” and “would like to serve the great, no nonsense people of #Iowa as their next US Senator. #gotballs #bobq2014.” The title of the video ad is “#GotBalls, Vote for Bob Quast.”
2. Joni Ernst. Got Pig Balls? Because she’ll cut them off and ‘Make ‘em squeal.” What is it about Iowa and testes destruction? Running against Quast for the Senate in Iowa, this Republican is proud of her experience cutting castrating pigs. For realz. As she brags in her own sociopathic ad, “I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm so when I get to Washington, I’ll know how to cut pork…. Washington is full of big spenders. Let’s make ‘em squeal.”
3. Don Young: death threats and butf***ing. It’s hard to be surprised by anything this Alaskan Republican Congressman running for reelection does. Most recently, his Democratic opponent Forrest Dunbar says, Young threatened, “Don’t you ever touch me. Don’t ever touch me. The last guy who touched me ended up on the ground dead.” Note that Young’s spokesman didn’t deny the claim. And the story is more than plausible, given Young’s “interesting” history. He once condemned the NEA for funding “butf***ing,” and once called Mexican-American farmworkers as “wetbacks” and once made silly faces while another congressman, paid tribute to a Marine from New Jersey who had been killed in Afghanistan.
4. Paul LePage: he won’t “give it to the people without Vaseline.” The current Maine Republican Governor is running for re-election. And part of me kinda hopes he’ll win. Because he’s undeniably entertaining. He complained that a Democratic State Senator of being eager to “give it to the people without providing Vaseline.” Presumably, LePage has the decency to supply the people with vaseline.
5. Glenn Grothman: anti-Kwanza, anti-weekend, anti-equal pay, pro-raw milk. I may not like what Grothman has to say or what he does, but I won’t deny that he is as sexy as his name. The Republican State Senator, who is now running for Congress in Wisconsin, doesn’t mince his words when he defended getting rid of equal pay legislation:
You could argue that money is more important for men. I think a guy in their first job, maybe because they expect to be a breadwinner someday, may be a little more money-conscious. To attribute everything to a so-called bias in the workplace is just not true.
He also is open about his opposition to Kwanza, a holiday invented by an “African American Marxist” who, “disliked the United States and he disliked Christmas, which he thought of as white. He, therefore, made up a holiday that he wanted for blacks.” As Grothman, some of whose best friends are “blacks,” I’m sure, explains, “Of course, almost no black people today care about Kwanzaa – just white left-wingers who try to shove this down black people’s throats in an effort to divide Americans.”
But you know what Grothman is for? Legalizing the sale of raw milk.
6. Michael Grimm: “Sometimes I get my Italian up” and threaten to throw someone over a balcony. Not only has Rep. Michael Grim (R-NY) been indicted for criminal activity related to his campaign, but he literally threatened the life of a reporter who asked him about the then-ongoing federal investigation. After NY1 reporter Michael Scotto asked the Congressman some questions, Grimm replied, chivalrously: “Let me be clear to you, you ever do that to me again I’ll throw you off this fucking balcony… No, no, you’re not man enough, you’re not man enough. I’ll break you in half. Like a boy.”
But guys, there’s a totally reasonable explanation for all of this. As Grimm explained in a debate: “Sometimes I get my Italian up… I’m human…it’s a stressful job being in Congress.” All true things. All true things.
7. Jody Hice: outing the gay manifesto. This radio show host, political activist, and Southern Baptist reverend is now running for Congress in Georgia. Hice exposed the gay agenda he discovered when he came across a satirical essay he mistook for a true confession. In his book It’s Now or Never: A Call to Reclaim America, Hice actually cites, “These shocking words by Michael Swift,” which “have been considered part of the ‘gay manifesto’ by many, and reveal the radical agenda that is currently threatening our nation:”
We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image. They will come to crave and adore us.
And he also believes Muslims don’t deserve First Amendment protection. And Hice thinks it’s A. OK for women to enter politics: ”If the woman’s within the authority of her husband, I don’t see a problem.”
Add to the long list of “signs the church is out of touch”: really corny, eye-roll-inducing billboards that are more likely to repel than attract. I did find one funny one, which I saved for last…
We all like to be right. But when it comes to having hunches or suspicions about the things that are wrong in the world, I’d rather be wrong. I’d love, for instance, to see empirical evidence prove me wrong about my assumptions like there is a lot of homophobia in the world, or people vote against their own interests, or Best in Show is considered superior to Waiting for Guffman.
But, I don’t have any of those for you today. Instead, here are some studies which show that the things lots of us feared, felt, or thought were true, actually are.
1. Obese people have to deal with a lot of bullshit and obese women have to deal with even more bullshit than obese men. Women who are considered obese earn less and work lower-paying and less visible jobs in the U.S. workforce according to a new study by Jennifer Shinall an assistant professor of law at Vanderbilt Law School. Shinall explains that obese women are less likely to have “personal interaction jobs,” such as a salesperson, customer service representative or receptionist and more likely to have physically demanding jobs in home health care food preparation and childcare. “Employers don’t want to hire heavier women to be the face of their company.” But even when a heavy woman works in one of these personal interaction jobs, she “will earn almost 5 percent less than a normal-weight woman working in an occupation with exactly the same emphasis.” Shinall finds that the discrimination isn’t just about weight but about gender: “morbidly obese men don’t seem to be underrepresented in these personal-interaction jobs, nor do they seem to be over-represented in physical-activity jobs. That’s what’s striking about the data: We see a pattern for women but not for men… This is a sexual discrimination issue.”
2. The whole bullying thing is still happening. Though there has been increased awareness around bullying and anti-bullying legislation, bullying is still prevalent. A report by researchers from Clemson University and Professional Data Analysts Inc., which was published by the Hazelden Foundation, was based on a representative sample of more than 200,000 questionnaires filled out by students. The sample was made up of 1,000 girls and 1,000 boys from grades third to 12th. 22 percent of schoolchildren reported being bullied two or three times or more per month. Bullied students are more likely to dislike school and feel afraid of being bullied than uninvolved students. While 93 percent of girls and 81 percent of boys across all grade levels feel sorry for bullied students, most do nothing to help them.
The Report recommends, “A good evidence-based anti-bullying program [that] will have the power to restructure and strengthen the school environment by teaching everyone how to identify acts of bullying, how to react to bullying, and how to work together to reduce opportunities and rewards for bullying behavior.” Continue reading “Five depressing studies confirming everything you already knew”→
Mindy Kaling is an American comedian, actress and writer with her own Fox sitcom The Mindy Project. She is 35 years old. Malala Yousafzai is a Pakistani women’s rights and human rights activist who was shot in the head by the Taliban, survived and became the youngest ever recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. She is 17. Yet, apparently Kaling was mistaken for Malala at a New Yorker Festival after party in New York City’s Boom Boom Room. The New York Times revealed that “a tipsy man in his 80s came up to Kaling and gushed: “Congratulations on your Nobel Prize.” I mean, the two look nothing alike, have an age gap by nearly 20 years and one of them wears a head scarf. But at the end of the day, they are both brown so easy mistake. Sadly, this is hardly the only time people of color who look nothing alike are mistaken for each other. Let’s take a look at eight other times people were unable to tell the difference between celebrities who have nothing in common besides their ethnicity (that we know of).
1. Samuel L. Jackson and Laurence Fishburne: during an interview back in February, KTLA entertainment reporter asked Samuel L. Jackson about his Super Bowl commercial. It may have been a good question… if it had been posed to the person who had actually starred in said commercial, Laurence Fishburne. Jackson unloaded on the reporter in an epic rant that turned into a viral video:
“Oh hell no… There’s more than one black guy doing commercials. I’m the ‘What’s in your wallet?’ black guy. [Fishburne’s] the car black guy. Morgan Freeman is the other credit card black guy. You only hear his voice though, so you probably won’t confuse him with Laurence Fishburne.”
Ladies! Are you tired of having to choose between either a sexist and objectifying Halloween costume or a racist and unflattering one disguise? Well are you in for a treat! Because I’m about to show you how you can have it all this Halloween!
Just go online, find a website like Brands On Sale specializing in costumes and look for the “International” section.
To make your job easier, I’ve picked out some of my favorites. So lean in and check out some totally offensive, culture-mocking, and hypersexualizing costumes, along with the offensive names and descriptions that accompany them.
“MEXICAN” SECTION
1. Adult Sexy Mexican Shot Girl Costume
Adult Sexy Mexican Shot Girl Costume via brandsonsale
“The Sexy Mexican Serape and Hat costume is one spicy number for this Halloween. Complete with shot glasses, this Senorita outfit is ready for the party! For a hot couples costume, try our other Mexican and international costumes.”
Main Features
Serape mini dress
Belt with four loops and bottle holster
4 shot glasses
TEQUILA print sombrero
I actually appreciate how the description of the costume says senorita instead of señorita. There’s something honest about spelling it senorita, despite the fact the spell-check will correct it. Like they embrace their utter ignorance. And the fun-loving-alcohol-drinking Mexican stereotype is so original and refreshing.
2. Women’s South of the Border Costume
Women’s South of the Border Costume via brandsonsale
“This Latina costume has all the spice of traditional Mexican clothing with just a bit of extra pink. The one piece dress falls below the knees and features a loose fit top for a classical look.”
I almost admire this costume for not really making any sense. it’s like it doesn’t even know what stereotypes to work with. Also, can a costume even be “Latina”?
Great news for people who like alcohol. A new study has found that alcohol consumption after you hit 60 helps your memory. I know how I’ll be spending my retirement! It’s not quite as bacchanalian as it sounds. You’re not supposed to get wasted. In the study researchers from University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston, University of Kentucky, and University of Maryland, looked at the medical history of 660 patients in the Framingham Heart Study Offspring Cohort in Massachusetts and gave them a battery of tests. The results, published in the American Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease and Other Dementias, demonstrated that light alcohol consumption is linked with higher episodic memory– the ability to recall memories of events– while moderate alcohol consumption correlated with a larger volume of the hippocampus, which is a part of the brain related to episodic memory. The findings only apply to people who do not have dementia. And, of course, moderation is key as too much drinking impairs brain functioning. Too much, scientifically and medically speaking, means five or more alcoholic beverages during a single drinking occasion. For example, a University of Exeter Medical School study saw that older adults who had drinking problems when middle-aged were twice as likely to have memory and cognitive issues as people without a history of drinking problems. Now enjoy these Lucille Bluth GIFs demonstrating how we should spend our golden years. Do not drink any more than four drinks at a time while doing this. Continue reading “Finally! A medical reason to drink alcohol and a GIF guide on how”→
This meme, which points out that three Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian and only American has died of the virus helps put the Ebola hysteria into perspective.
But the point isn’t to trivialize Ebola. The point is that, as per usual, politicians and the media are distorting reality, manipulating people’s fears and ignoring the important stories and lessons that could– and should– come out of the Ebola tragedy.
The Ebola virus has highlighted the dangers of neo-liberal policies, which destroy public infrastructure, and a myopic privatized health care system in which saving lives is less important that making huge profit. It has revealed the way the death of Africans is acceptable while the death of Americans and Europeans, especially white ones, is not. As Dr. Atul Gawande explained on Democracy Now! it was only when the disease traveled from Africa to the U.S. that people started paying attention:
Starting at March 31st, Doctors Without Borders said the hospitals in Guinea and in Liberia are overwhelmed, and they were crying for help. As late as September 2nd, they were telling the U.N. and others that the help being provided is a shambles, that this is a disease that is doubling in the number of cases every three weeks. And our response was pathetic.
It might have been the best thing that has happened that the first case to leave the African continent came to America, because it brought our mobilization to realize what happens there matters to us here. And suddenly, we are now mobilizing thousands of people to go. The CDC has mounted the largest global operation for public health in U.S. government history.
It shows us that we live in a world where epidemics are manipulated for political gain, to make far-fetched racist and outlandish claims about Obama’s alleged loyalty to Africa over America and used to further racist and totally incoherent and illogical claims about Mexican Immigrants bringing Ebola into the country. Be xenophobic and racist. Go ahead. But at least make your racist and xenophobic lies have an air of credibility.
And it shows us we live in a world where, sometimes, comedy and memes do a better job informing us than the traditional media. See, for example, this tweet by Emm Kay:
Singer Robin Thicke performs at the Highline Ballroom on Oct. 23, 2013 in New York City. [AFP]
There is no shortage of misogynist, pervy, douchy and rape-y songs out there. Compiling them all into a list would be a Sisyphean Task, and yet, dear reader, here you are, reading a listicle of 9 songs that deserve special notice for their disturbing content. How, you must be asking, did I manage to wade through the ample waters of disgusting musical content and filter out the exceptionally offensive droplets? It’s not easy, I have to admit.
And yet do it I must. Some of these songs are obviously pervy, while others are more like musical sneak attacks, if you will, closeted in their sleazeitude, and, may go unnoticed. You might, in other words, find yourself singing them without realizing that you are condoning a song with a message you would never support. How does this happen? These songs may hide their content through their melodies, which can be deceptively romantic and and pop-ish, or through their lyrics, which may be unintelligible or are so pervy that you’re in denial about it.
1. BLAME IT (ON THE ALCOHOL)
Blame It (On the Alcohol), the 2008 song by Jamie Foxx and T-Pain. is another obviously rape-culture reflecting/ endorsing anthem. And it’s the story of a boy encouraging a girl to stop acting like she doesn’t want to have sex:
Ay she say she usually don’t But I know that she front
Cause shawty know what she want
But she don’t wanna seem like she easy
Foxx clearly states his intention to use alcohol to get the girl he’s wooing to have sex with him: “Just one more round and you’re down I’d know it.”
Foxx demonstrates his familiarity with various alcohols and their various rape-facilitating qualities:
Blame it on the goose
Got you feeling loose
Blame it on Patron
Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol (x2)
Blame it on the vodka
Blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue top
Got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol (x2)
![Singer Robin Thicke performs at the Highline Ballroom on Oct. 23, 2013 in New York City. [AFP]](http://www.rawstory.com/rs/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Singer-Robin-Thicke-performs-at-the-Highline-Ballroom-on-Oct.-23-2013-in-New-York-City.-AFP-800x430.jpg)
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