Within moments or days, the Supreme Court will rule on DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act), which states that “the word ‘marriage’ means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.’’
And it’s unclear how they will decide. We’ve also seen the fight for marriage equality fought in the streets, with protest signs as weapons. But this battle is as murky as the Supreme Court’s decision. It is really hard to tell which side of the debate has the better signs. Which side is cleverer?
Which side makes more spelling mistakes? To answer these questions, we will have to take a close look and engage in some deep analysis.
1. Homosexuality: the Devil’s Work Or a Great Way to Get P****
While there is some evidence of devil possession among the gays, it is anecdotal, at best. Statistically, lesbians are more attractive than homophobes, so it follows that they would be able to obtain more … success among women. Winner: The Gays!
2. The Issue: Marriage or Marridge
Technically, marriage and not marridge, is made up of one man and one woman. Of course the gentleman carrying the protest sign has a misspelled word as well, but that’s intentional and used to mock the less than stellar
spelling record of bigots. And he very may well have come to the protest hoping to defecate on Shirley Phelps, the spokeswoman of Westboro Baptist Church. Once again, this round goes to the gays.
3. Marriage is About: “Sactity” or Equality
Again, the anti-marriage equality protester struggled with spelling. The protesters defending marriage equality, however, have mastered each word on their sign and the sign contains more words. The interracial couple connects the fight for marriage equality based on sexual orientation to the fight for marriage equality based on race (I know! race is a construct. I did go to Wesleyan! But you know what I mean.) They persuasively present marriage as a civil rights issue. I’m sorry homophobes, you lose again.