There were just so many good quotes from Republican politicians this week, so I apologize to any nut-job I overlooked. It’s impossible to keep up with all the gems coming from Republican and conservative lunatics. Consider this a mere sampling — a tasting menu, if you will.
1. Paul LePage Makes Jokes About Rape
You may remember Maine’s Republican Governor Paul LePage from when he told the NAACP to kiss his ass. Or maybe it’s from that time he aptly compared the IRS to the Gestapo. (Admit it. The comparison kinda works.) Well, here’s another gem you can add to your treasure trove of LePage-based memories: anal rape jokes.
LePage said that Democratic State Senator Troy Jackson “claims to be for the people, but he’s the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.” In case you were worried that LePage would back down, he added this thoughtful comment later: “Dammit, that comment is not politically correct, but we got to understand who this man is.” When a reporter went out on a limb and suggested people may find the whole Vaseline-free friction-heavy anal sex metaphor offensive, LePage said, “Good. It ought to [be seen as offensive], because I’ve been taking it for two years.”
Never give up! Never give in!
2. A GOP County Chairman Compares a Candidate (In His Own Party!) to a Prostitute
Jim Allen, the Republican Party chairman of Montgomery County, Illinois, sent this email to Republican News Watch editor Doug Ibendahl, about Erika Harold, an African American former Miss America and Republican congressional candidate, challenging Rodney Davis (R-Ill.) in next year’s primary:
“Rodney Davis will win and the love child of the DNC will be back in Shitcago by May of 2014 working for some law firm that needs to meet their quota for minority hires… The little queen touts her abstinence and she won the crown because she got bullied in school…boohoo…kids are cruel, life sucks and you move on.. Now, miss queen is being used like a street walker and her pimps are the DEMOCRAT PARTY and RINO REPUBLICANS.”
He has since resigned. I don’t know why.
3. E.W. Jackson Says Government Programs Are Way Worse Than Slavery
E.W. Jackson, Virginia Republicans’ nominee for lieutenant governor, always has something … original to say. After all, not everyone has the lunatic cojones to say that the gays “poison culture” or call out President Obama’s “Muslim sensibilities.” So, we shouldn’t be surprised that Jackson had this to say about the decline of two parent households among black families:
“[S]lavery did not destroy the black family even though it certainly was an attack on the black family. It made it difficult but I’ll tell you that the programs that began in the ‘60s, the programs that began to tell women that ‘you don’t need a man in the home, the government will take care of you,’ that and began to tell men, ‘you don’t need to be in the home, the government will take care of this woman and take care of these children.’ That’s when the black family began to deteriorate. In 1960 most black children were raised in two-parent, monogamous families. By now, by this time, we have only 20% of black children being raised in two-parent, monogamous families with a married man and woman raising those children. It wasn’t slavery that did that, it was government that did that, trying to solve problems that only God can solve and that only we as human beings can solve.”
He’s right. We should really let God solve the problems facing our society. I’m sure he’ll get to taking care of poverty and sexism and racism … eventually.