That heinous “5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder” post

Girlseating1 November 13th, 2013
5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder
By Tuthmosis

Nothing screams white-girl problems louder than a good old-fashioned eating disorder.* But they’re more than that. Eating disorders have been—quite appropriately—declared a luxury reserved for only the most privileged members of the female race. In other words, the presence of one of the classic eating disorders is a reliable predictor of various socio-economic, cultural, and personality traits in a young woman–features that, in the end, are desirable to today’s American man. In a world where the “retail price” on the typical Western woman continues to skyrocket—while their quality continues its precipitous decline—there are some real gems to be found in the bargain bin.

I’ve dated several girls with eating disorders—in various intensities—and all of these traits have applied to each of them.

*While obesity is, in most cases, also an “eating disorder,” this list doesn’t apply to emotional eaters, food addicts, and fatties with no self control.

1. Her obsession over her body will improve her overall looks.

A girl who spends inordinate mental and physical energy on her looks is rarely fat. If you were to get into a long-term relationship with one of these girls, she’s also less likely to become complacent about her physique over time. Girls like this are usually deft at properly dressing their body type, which translates into a more stylish girl overall. And, because cheap clothing lines—like H&M—are shaped with straight cuts that are less labor-intensive and therefore more inexpensive, they look good in even the cheapest of shit. While they may have a “distorted body image” on the inside, that usually means staying trim and fit on the outside. Let’s not forget that fatties too, in the majority of cases, have a “distorted body image,” but in the unattractive direction.


2. She costs less money.

You can go out to nice restaurants and order take-out with the confidence that your expense on her will be minimal. In most cases, she’ll get a small dish–like a side salad–or just eat a little bit of whatever communal dishes you order. If you’re a hungry bastard, you can even finish off her plate. “Are you going to finish that?”

3. She’s fragile and vulnerable.

The case has repeatedly and persuasively been made that an inflated ego and an unearned high self-esteem are among the most unattractive traits in a girl. You-go-girlist “confidence”—grounded in little more than years of being told she’s a unique and special snowflake for no other reason than she was born female—renders a woman into an insufferable turd who thinks the world revolves around her.

An eating disorder often translates into the direct opposite: a girl who’s modest, fragile, and vulnerable. Instead of having to constantly wrestle with a difficult and obnoxious girl, you’ll be dealing with a tastefully insecure girl, who’s eager to please, and wants nothing more than your approval. She’s quick to apologize for transgressions, and will make the extra effort to see you–instead of flaking on you constantly. This level of vulnerability often brings out the best in men, whose protector instinct can’t help but get activated.


4. Probably has money of her own.

They aren’t too many poor girls with eating disorders. These girls come from money, and often continue to wield that spending power right into their adulthoods. Her instinct to please you will translate into her picking up tabs, coming to your door not empty-handed, or buying you little gifts.

5. She’s better in bed.

It’s a well-known fact that crazy girls are exceptional in the sack. A girl with an eating disorder has just the right cocktail of pent-up insecurity, neuroses, and daddy issues to ensure that your whole building knows every time you’re beating it up.

Say what you will, a girl with a mild-to-moderate eating disorder—that hasn’t excessively marred her appearance—is today’s best-buy in the West’s rapidly plummeting dating market.

Read More: The 15 Magical Years Of Womanhood

About the Author

Tuthmosis is a writer and consultant, with specialties in dating culture, social intelligence, and the state of masculinity. He splits his time between various U.S. cities. His column runs every Wednesday. You can follow him on Twitter

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suckmydick Jerry Lewis • 5 days ago
i hope someone bites off your balls tonight too
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yikes Jerry Lewis • 5 days ago
I don’t think that gender and sexual minority groups (which aren’t all “gay” by the way) are advocating for “special rights or priviledges [sic].” They simply want the rights and privileges that the rest of us already have.
You may not have any hatred, but you have a frightening lack of understanding.
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Aurini yikes • 5 days ago
You can’t legislate the right to have a heterosexual relationship.
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ScriptKiddiesAreBeta BlackHatHacker • 5 days ago
No one talks like that.

You lose your moral high ground when you use a keyboard to pretend to be a tough guy.

Have a problem with it? “Hack me”
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anonymous BlackHatHacker • 6 days ago
Congrats. That’s actually a vaguely creative sort of response.

Threats of bodily harm are trite — but computer harm?

That should now be added to the list of 7 Common Feminist Insults:


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singalongbanana anonymous • 5 days ago
Dude, you are forgetting rule 16; there is no girls on the internet, so clearly everything on the feminist list is written by men. -and you know, a few weeks on reddit and seeing what kinds of insults people use there will make that clear for you anyway.
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suchDoge BlackHatHacker • 5 days ago
What if he’s using *gasp* Linux? Or Solaris? Or what if he posted from a library computer? What are you to do oh great black hat?
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tyrone lannister BlackHatHacker • 5 days ago
lol. good joke bruh. macs cant get viruses, i saw it on an apple commercial.

no jokes. nice bluff bruh. you’re not hacking shit
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Name tyrone lannister • 5 days ago
Macs get viruses, mine has one. Urban myth that they are immune from them.

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Jessie James Klinesmith BlackHatHacker • 5 days ago
:-/ note a hacker deletes all before 24 hours of it being posted my email
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anonymous Est • 5 days ago
People choose their romantic partners with an eye toward looks, money, and sexual attractiveness ?!

Shocking news!
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kirk anonymous • 5 days ago
not everyone is that shallow
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Mikmac fuckyou • 5 days ago
the only person more pathetic than this mouth-breathing, misogynistic asshole Tuthmosis is anyone who would engage him in intelligent dialogue or, God forbid, listen to a word of “advice” from him. Should you ever meet a woman stupid enough to engage in a relationship with you, I pray that you will have girls so that you will realize what a hateful, sad excuse for a man you are. That said, I would not wish that on any female.
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fuckyou Nicole Marie Story • 6 days ago
are you serious? you don’t “get” and eating disorder? yes, you do. you “get” depression, you “get” eating disorders, etc. it has very little to actually do with food/weight. it is a psychological problem that spirals quickly out of control.
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Lacy get_over_it • 5 days ago
I just don’t understand what would make you think that. It is proven that things like depression are caused by chemical imbalances. How on earth is a person suppose to learn to control that? You honestly dare to blame eating disorders on parents not raising their children correctly? That’s insane. It clearly is all in YOUR head.
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DeArryka get_over_it • 5 days ago
“learn to control it like the rest of us”? You’re an idiot, you can’t just ignore a voice in your head telling you that you’re worthless and fat or that if you eat no one will ever love you. It’s not easy to “just get over” the constant reminder of how worthless you are echoing in your brain 24/7 and how every time you look in the mirror you want to cry. Mental illnesses are not “Middle Class Problems” they’re everyone problems. You need to know a little bit about what you’re talking about next time you try to tell someone that their problems are worth entertaining.
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youre all idiots get_over_it • 5 days ago
Are you fucking kidding me. Learn to control it like the rest of is? “entertain”? you are completely fucking ignorant. I was never over indulged and had the same upbringing as everyone else. Tough love is your solution for a disorder, then I hope one day you are diagnosed with something like this and see how you cope. You wouldn’t last the year bitch
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kirk get_over_it • 5 days ago
yes it’s in your head that’s the point it needs getting out of there. saying that is like saying oh you’ve got fluid in your lung like yes i know it’s there get rid of it. depression and eating disorders aren’t ‘middle class problems’ they can affect anyone. that’s like saying only rich people get cancer. i was raised with tough love and guess what that’s how i ended up with depression and an eating disorder. for thousands of years people have actually been suffering with depression and eating disorders even when the desired figure was curvier. educate yourself.
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Name Nicole Marie Story • 6 days ago
If it were that easy then why did it take you 11 years to take responsibility for YOUR actions?
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DeArryka Name • 5 days ago
She obviously never had an eating disorder if she thinks you can just ignore it
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Bri Nicole Marie Story • 6 days ago
Psychological/ mental disorders cause a lot of stress. Stress translates to physical symptoms of disease, thus justifying the statement that EDs ARE diseases. In addition, the physical damage done to one’s body is severe enough to where it can EASILY be classified as a disease. Treatable. But it takes a lot of time, therapy, support, etc. to get over for most. Some people can do it easily, but many need a lot of outside help and a lot more time to recover. And need continued support to not relapse.
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Bri guest • 6 days ago
In this case, the physical damage is a direct effect of the disorder, and the effects persist. Perhaps the stress situation is irrelevant. People will view it as a disease. That said, this entire discussion of disease vs not disease is detracting from the shittiness that is the piece of shit article.
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guest Bri • 6 days ago
It would then be easy to argue for whatever caused the broken leg to be considered a disease. Although not entirely related to how shitty the article is I believe the distinction is important. Eating disorders=/= Cancer
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AKL guest • 5 days ago
You’re correct an eating disorder is not the same as cancer. They are two completely different diseases attributed with their own list of symptoms.Both diseases range in severities, and both are potentially fatal. Until you’ve experienced an eating disorder, or watched its wave of destruction ruin the lives of someone you love I urge you to reserve judgement.

Eating disorders and breaking one’s leg are completely incomparable. Unless, someone is breaking their leg as an act of self harm it is an unfortunate accident.
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SKW guest • 5 days ago
if you were to look up the diagnosing factors of eating disorders in the DSM (diagnostic statistical manual) you will find that how a doctor judges whether or not someone has an eating disorder is not just by physical damage/appearance/etc. It’s equally important to the doctor to look at the psychological state of the individual and how the way they think about themselves, their body, etc. So it’s a combination of the two: physical and mental. If no physical signs are present, this may mean that the individual is early into the disease or perhaps they are lucky that the eating disorder has not ravaged their body yet. Either way, eating disorders are mental diseases. That’s why you cannot tell if someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them (unless they are emaciated in the case with anorexia nervosa). For more information, I encourage you to do research before you make an opinion. is a good place to start 🙂 – SKW
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DeArryka guest • 5 days ago
A broken leg heals, eating disorder recovery is something you deal with for the rest of your life.
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Siera guest • 5 days ago
Its not that stress causes the disease; but rather stress coupled with a predisposition to factors that encourage the disease. For instance you will see a trend with people with OCPD or obsessive compulsive personality disorder (which is different than OCD). These people, who specifically acquire an eating disorder, usually feel that they have a lack of control (especially those with anorexia) in their lives; and a distorted body image. As a way to gain control they start to limit their intake of food, once this occurs as a result this person starts to lose weight, then people starting giving them compliments (because the world, especially in the west, are so obsessed with ascetic beauty and specifically thinness), so these people continue with this behavior until it is as a part of them as their personality. Unfortunately this does not make them feel that they ever gain the control they were striving for, because it is unattainable; as well as the fact they always see themselves as failures because of their distorted body image.
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Ridiculous Nicole Marie Story • 5 days ago
Then why does it have the statistic of the highest mortality rate out of any mental illness. It’s a disease you fucken idiot. I’ve been in hospitals for ten years. Sure, there is the choice to work towards recovery but you don’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to be anorexic or bulimic. Screw you. You know nothing
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Erin Nicole Marie Story • 5 days ago
a disorder of structure or function in a human, animal, or plant, especially one that produces specific symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury.

Strange, I’d have said that an eating disorder was a disorder that affects both structure AND functioning of the human body, with specific symptoms attached to it.

I suppose you’d probably subscribe to the same ideas that people don’t ‘get’ depression- they just choose to be sad and suicidal. Schizophrenics? No, they need to take responsibility for their actions and stop thinking those delusional thoughts.

Pretty sure you didn’t *get* what I ‘got’ because I sure as hell didn’t sign up for this nightmare.
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Siera Erin • 5 days ago
True! In fact, when you have an eating disorder it literally changes the chemical composition of your brain and impairs cognitive functioning. Depending on the disorderly eating that you have it affects your brain differently.

So it ends up being a viscous cycle, where the initial cause (stress, high self-consciousness, low self-esteem, PTSD, OCD, OCPD) of the eating disorder is now omitted from the cycle; and it is the person’s continued behavior, caused from their impaired cognition, that causes the impaired cognition.

So the vicious cycle continues until the person ends up either dead (in serious situations), in a hospital, or in a psychologist’s office. The cycle is not very easy to break, because not only has it become a habitual behavior causing the cycle, and the cycle causing the behavior; but, there are also disorderly thought patterns that need to be addressed and corrected.

It is a life long battle and disease that, regardless of whether or not it has been overcame, never stops exerting influence on your psychological state as well as your unconscious implicit behavior.
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anon Erin • 5 days ago
Is drug addiction a disease? Because that would fit in the same boat as your description.

Who knew having a disease was a crime?
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Tim Aurini • 5 days ago
Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Therefore, it’s not a choice.
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ca99 Aurini • 5 days ago
they “choose” holy shit go fuck yourself
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guest Aurini • 5 days ago
Have you ever talked to a doctor about it. Look up some studies on serotonin levels. Maybe a little research is order. This is also predisposed by genetics.
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kirk Aurini • 5 days ago
that doesn’t even make sense
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Equal Haani • 5 days ago
Girls *and* boys. EDs are not gender-exclusive.
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Aurini Equal • 5 days ago
Not Men, though; Men are mentally tough enough not to get a stupid eating disorder.
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anon Aurini • 5 days ago
This is one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever heard. People do not choose to have an eating disorder. You can not control it. Once it takes a grasp of you it’s almost impossible to get out of it, and it takes years to recover. You can not just say that men don’t get it because they do. An illness like this doesn’t have boundaries. It can happen to anyone. It makes me sad that people still have no idea about mental illnesses and completely disregard them despite how many people they’ve killed. I realise that you can’t understand what it’s like unless you’ve been through it, but maybe have a bit of sympathy for the people who ARE going through it. They didn’t choose this.
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Juliet Jeske Aurini • 5 days ago
Wish that were true. Just do a 30 second google search on men and eating disorders…men and boys get them too. Body dysmorphia doesn’t have gender boundaries.
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