We can all exhale and unbunch our panties. Because the War on Women is officially over, according to the right-wing, anti-feminist, evangelical Christian organization Concerned Women for America. 

Given how much the right wing has tried to pretend there’s no War on Women at all, I’m kind of impressed that the Concerned Women for America hosted a panel discussion called “War No More” in Washington, DC on Monday. The title acknowledges that there has, indeed, been a war on women. What isn’t quite as honest or accurate is the claim that it’s over.

Rather than deny sexist policies and persisting gender inequality per se, the women on the panel argued that economic and geopolitical issues are more important — and totally separate from — gender issues. GOP pollster Kellyanne Conway, for example, asked, “What do most women do every week? Do they fill up the gas tank and the grocery cart? Or do they get an abortion?” Ahhh, yes. Ye ole abortion vs. shopping conundrum.

But groceries and gas guzzling pale in comparison to Jihadi rape, which, apparently, is the result of Democrat, not Republican, policy. As Concerned Women for America president Penny Nance explained, “Women are being violated at the hands of Islamic jihadists.” Compared to raping, pillaging, and beheading, things like unequal pay (or, basically, anything besides raping, pillaging, and beheading) don’t really sound that bad, right?

Besides, as Nance explains, the pay gap is “greatly exaggerated” and is about “women’s choices, and maybe a little bit of discrimination as well,” according to CWA’s Sabirna Schaeffer. But it is definitely not an issue to be addressed through legislation like the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act. And you know what else isn’t going to help women, according to these allegedly “concerned” women? Things like increasing the minimum wage or paid sick and family leave.

So, how do you argue that policies that demonstrably improve women’s lives and well-being don’t actually do that? How do you, in other words, distort reality or…well… lie? Blame porn! As Carly Fiorina, a 2016 GOP presidential candidate, explained to the audience, Democrats want to pay people to watch porn. Thanks to seniority systems, “we keep getting inspector general reports that say that people watching porn all day long are getting paid exactly the same as someone who works hard and does their job. And who supports the seniority system? Unions. Government bureaucracies. The constituencies that the Democrats like to protect.”

Got it, ladies? It’s not about unequal pay. It’s not about reproductive freedom. It’s about union-belonging, government-bureaucracy-supporting, over-paid porn addicts with job security. Sounds about right to me.