Now that Hillary Clinton has testified about Benghazi attacked, all the people who accused the Secretary of State of faking a concussion to avoid testifying owe her a HUGE MASSIVE apology. We’re waiting… but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
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Things to Consider Before Sleeping With Your Ex
As you read this, countless people are considering, engaging in or cleaning up from sex with their exes. You dear reader, may just have sent a booty call to an ex-flame. Or maybe you just received one. Some of you, and you know who you are, are reading this in a post-ex-coitus haze. Ex-sex is something constant and omnipresent. It spans time and transcends space.
Is that a good thing? Yes, according British Youtube “star” and blogger Emily Hartridge, who has just released a video called “You should have sex with your ex….10 Reasons Why.” The video — which is occasionally funny, occasionally stupid and occasionally not — is no masterpiece. But it does capture a bunch of reasons (10 to be precise) why people have sex with her exes. Let’s review and evaluate them, shall we?
It’s easy and convenient:
Well, that could be true, if you’re in contact with your ex, if your ex lives near by and at least one of you isn’t too lazy to leave home.
You already know what each other is like in bed.
Yeah, but what if the ex isn’t that great in the sack? Plus the element of surprise, novelty and anticipation is gone. Yes, this could make for a more comfortable (and, in turn, pleasurable)
Male German Soldiers are Growing Breasts
Men: have you always wanted to develop one— and only one— breast on the left side of your chest? Well, if you have an elite military training background, live in Germany or are willing to move there, you can now fulfill your dreams of single-boobery. But you have to act fast.
Dozens of soldiers it the Wachbataillon (German for man with one breast, you know how concise German words are) unit, which performs drill displays at official events, aredeveloping breasts on their left side because of the way they drill. It turns out that repeatedly slapping your chest in the same exact spot with heavy rifles can stimulate glands to produce hormones and cause a condition called one sided gynecomastia. (I’m sure the Germans have a single word for it but I don’t know what it is.) The condition has been diagnosed in 74 % of Wachbataillon members who have gone to army medics because of their “developments.”
15 Dangerous and Deadly Methods Women Have Used When Abortion Is Illegal
News flash: Sex isn’t going anywhere. Even people who don’t like abortion need to recognize that unwanted pregnancies and abortion aren’t going anywhere, either (especially, and frustratingly, and ironically when many “pro-life” “anti-choice” people oppose contraception and any kind of effective sex-ed). Here is a mere sampling from relatively recent history of the uncomfortable, painful, dangerous and deadly methods a woman would use when when abortion wasn’t legal or accesible.
Groupon Can Take Away Our Gun Deals, but They’ll Never Take Away our Anal Waxing
Ladies, we must be vigilant. Groupon has recently announced they are canceling their gun deals. The inevitable question is what will they come for next? Our God-given right to the Brazilian bikini wax. Not on my watch, they won’t. Not on my watch.
Groupon, the popular deal-of-the-day website, which offers everything from gym memberships, to restaurant meals, to vacations, announced Monday night that they were putting their gun-related deals on hold, e-mailing reporters,
“All scheduled and current gun-related deals featured on Groupon North America, including shooting ranges, conceal-and-carry and clay shooting, have been placed on hiatus while we review internal standards that shape the deal inventory we feature…. The category is under review following recent consumer and merchant feedback.”
They didn’t explain why they are changing their policy, but it’s likely that the Sandy Hook shooting and the renewed gun debate is behind their decision.
How Jane Roe Went from being a Lesbian Pro-Choice Icon to a Straight Born-Again Anti-Choice Activist
Jane “Roe v Wade” Roe, or Norma McCorvey, was the plaintiff in the landmark Supreme Court Case which, 40 years ago today, legalized abortion in the United States. A former lesbian and pro-choice icon, McCorvey is now a straight, born-again, Catholic, anti-choice activist. What the fuck happened? Since McCorvey was born-again, and has struggled with addiction, I present to you a 12-step program and how-to guide of Norma’s transformation.
1. Be born (for the first time) and raised in Dallas by an abusive, alcoholic Jehovah’s Witness single mother.
2. Drop out of school by 14, start working as a roller-skating carhop at 15, run off with and marry a customer who orders a “furburger” (he had her at furburger).
3. Become pregnant, divorce your abusive husband, move back in with your mother and give her custody over your daughter.
What Did John Boehner Say to Provoke Michelle Obama’s Epic Eye Roll? Some Theories
By now, most of the world has had the pleasure of seeing what will surely go down down as the most epic eye roll in world history. But what did John Boehner say to cause Michelle Obama to throw such record-breaking shade during the post-inauguration luncheon?
Nearly a Third of Fired Military Commanders Were Canned Because of Their Penises
A recent Associated Press article, called “Sex Is Major Reason Military Commanders Are Fired,” which is being picked up all over, says almost a third of fired military commanders are losing their jobs over sex. Losing your job over sex sounds kind of fun. Sounds like members of the armed services are being all that they can be by engaging in some good, old fashioned-patriotic boning. The only problem is, the article kind of confuses sex with sexual assault, and, like, helps the military sanitize its entrenched rape culture.
Just to review, rape and sexual assault are pervasive in the military. Here are some useful statistics:
- A female soldier in combat zones is more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire.
- In October The Huffington Post calculated that a servicewoman was nearly 180 times more likely to have become a victim of military sexual assault (MSA) in the past year than to have died while deployed during the last 11 years of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.
- Over 20% of female veterans have been sexually assaulted while serving in the US army.
- The Pentagon estimates that only 14 percent of the assaults are reported.
- In Fiscal Year 2011, 3,192 sexual assaults were reported out of an estimated 19,000 — roughly 52 a day! (One of the reasons that rape is so underreported is because rape victims have to report their rape to their supervisor, who is often the rapist!)
Scoring the Inaugural Dance-Off: Bidens Almost Hump on the Dance Floor and Obamas are Swingers
Last night the world was treated to aDancing with the Leaders of the Free Worldcontest, at the Inaugural Ball. These are the results.
Costumes: Both Obama and Biden went with traditional choices. Jill and Michelle both looked beautiful.
Michelle wore a pleated ruby red Jason Wu dress. Jill looked ravishing in a blue satin dress with a Black sash from Vera Wang. Ultimately Jill, who went with a different designer than she did in 2009, made a more adventurous decision than did Michelle who stuck with Wu. Also, in wearing blue, the color of her party, Jill was more politically appropriate than Michelle, who wore the color of the GOP. So, for originality and partisanship, this one goes to the Bidens.
Song: The Obamas danced to Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” while the Bidens danced to Jamie Foxx’s version of the Ray Charles classic “I Can’t Stop Loving You”. Both choices had an “oh, cute” factor, as Obama broke into “Let’s Stay Together” at the Apollo Theater and Foxx played Ray Charles in the film Ray. But Hudson rocked the house with an infinitely more danceable song and Fox sounded a little schmaltzy, with a song that would be better for a first dance at a wedding, than an inaugural ball. So, the Obamas win this round.
How to Get Out of a Hook Up When the Guy Is Already in your Apartment
It’s awkward when you realize you don’t want to hook up with a guy who you’ve invited into your apartment for that purpose. But you can and should always be able to stop a hook up you don’t want to have. (Duh). This [Law and Order dum-dum] is my story.
The Background: A few years ago, I was working on a documentary film about a play. One of the actors was very talented and good looking. We didn’t really get to know each other over the course of the week-long shoot, but we exchanged small talk and smiled at each other, like, a lot! The last night there was a cast party. As I was about to leave the party, the actor asked me where I was going. I told him I was going home and when he asked me what neighborhood I lived in, it turned out, that, lo and behold, he was going to the same neighborhood! It was late, so, being two economical people, in a terrible economy, pursuing our artistic passions and hence not making any money, we decided to share a cab.
Game On? During the cab ride, he was perfectly fine and we were getting along swimmingly. So, when we got to my apartment and he asked if he should come up too, I said, “Sure.”
Realization: Once we were in my apartment, however, his behavior changed. He seemed sure of an imminent conquest, and started acting like a douchebag. He started asking me questions about the sex life of my lesbian friend and colleague (whom he met through the shoot). It was a charming mix of bro-ish enthusiasm for all things lesbian and casual homophobia. While I had been attracted to the guy five minutes ago, now the idea of even kissing him viscerally repulsed me.
katiehalper.com 