Men: have you always wanted to measure the length of your erect penis and see how it compares to penis length around the world? Well, there’s an app for that.
VSM Enterprises, which created the “Condom Size” app, available for Droid and iPhones, claims it’s all, or mostly, about safe sex. According to its website, “This app educates the male population on the proper condom placement and helps determine proper condom size.” It offers easy-to-follow instructions for how to measure your penis.
Just like Jodie Foster used her Cecil B. DeMille award speech as an opportunity to come out as, er, single, 18-year-old Jacob Rudolph used his “Class Actor” award speech to come out as LGBT.
The senior said the following in front of his entire class of 300 students and teachers at the Parsippany High School in New Jersey:
“So, I would, uh like to thank everyone for voting me Class Actor. Sure, I’ve been in a few plays and musicals, but more importantly, I’ve been acting every single day of my life. You see, I’ve been acting as someone I’m not. You see me acting the part of ‘straight’ Jacob, when I am in fact LGBT…. So take me, leave me or move me out of the way, because I am what I am, and that’s how I’m going to act from now on.”
Even the staunchest NRA defender wouldn’t argue that a man has the right to shoot himself in the penis. (Or would he?) But that’s what one man did in Trinidad and Tobago.
Police in the town of Rio Claro received a call around 8:00 a.m. on Sunday from witnesses who had heard a shot coming from a parked car. The responding officers found a driver slumped at the wheel bleeding from his… private parts.
The unnamed 33-year-old victim is a security guard who had been carrying a .38 caliber handgun in his pocket when it went off, hitting his penis! He was taken to the hospital where it was ascertained that he didn’t have a license for the gun he was carrying. As if he didn’t already learn his lesson, the hard way, he now faces charges of illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.
In this post-9/11 Manti Te’o world, the last thing the U.S. Government wants to see is any American citizen become a victim of terrorism or an internet dating scam. So the State Department has taken some time out of its leisurely schedule to compile some tips on how to avoid getting your heart broken by a fake boyfriend or girlfriend. Let’s take a look.
don’t just come from our courts and politicians. They also come from our bedrooms and partners. Reproductive coercion is abuse. And it happens any time a man tries to control a woman’s decision about pregnancy.
An American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists committee wants to help stop it, according to an opinion they published today in the latest issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.The committee wrote that it doesn’t know just how common reproductive coercion is in general, but that “birth control sabotage” was reported by 25% of teen girls with abusive partners and by 15% of women who were physically abused. Some women had their IUD or vaginal contraceptive ring pulled out. Other cases range from rape, to removing a condom during sex, to hiding a woman’s birth control. Reproductive coercion often includes trying to impregnate a woman against her will and can include using threats to pressure a woman to continue an unwanted pregnancy or, on the other hand, terminate a desired pregnancy.
“Often, it’s about taking away choices, taking away freedom, control and self-esteem,” says Rebekah Gee, an obstetrician and gynecologist in New Orleans and assistant professor at Louisiana State University, who has studied the problem but did not work on the opinion.
A brave Republican Congressman vowed to use the “power of humiliation” against the gays and their advocates who “love functioning in the dark.” Somebody has to do it! If not he, who? If not now, when?
The Congressman is Rep. James Lankford (R-OK), who earlier this month blamed gun violence on “welfare moms” and considers homosexuality a “choice issue.” (I mean, who wouldn’t choose to be part of a group that’s subjected to bashing, shaming, and general discrimination?) And at a recent town hall, he took a question from a woman named Sally, who appears to be Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern (R), who can boast of an impressive homophobic record herself and has said that “gays are an even bigger threat than terrorism.” I mean, she has a point. Just compare 9/11 and the recent Jodie Foster attack.
I’ve always loved Joe Biden, whom I consider to be a major VPILF. America, however, prefers Hillary Clinton. A poll released Wednesday reveals that Clinton has a favorable-unfavorable rating of 67-26 percent, while Joe’s rating is 48-37. The following GIF slideshow empirically demonstrates why Hillary owns Joe’s ass.
Now that Hillary Clinton has testified about Benghazi attacked, all the people who accused the Secretary of State of faking a concussion to avoid testifying owe her a HUGE MASSIVE apology. We’re waiting… but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
As you read this, countless people are considering, engaging in or cleaning up from sex with their exes. You dear reader, may just have sent a booty call to an ex-flame. Or maybe you just received one. Some of you, and you know who you are, are reading this in a post-ex-coitus haze. Ex-sex is something constant and omnipresent. It spans time and transcends space.
Is that a good thing? Yes, according British Youtube “star” and blogger Emily Hartridge, who has just released a video called “You should have sex with your ex….10 Reasons Why.” The video — which is occasionally funny, occasionally stupid and occasionally not — is no masterpiece. But it does capture a bunch of reasons (10 to be precise) why people have sex with her exes. Let’s review and evaluate them, shall we?
It’s easy and convenient:
Well, that could be true, if you’re in contact with your ex, if your ex lives near by and at least one of you isn’t too lazy to leave home.
You already know what each other is like in bed.
Yeah, but what if the ex isn’t that great in the sack? Plus the element of surprise, novelty and anticipation is gone. Yes, this could make for a more comfortable (and, in turn, pleasurable)
Men: have you always wanted to develop one— and only one— breast on the left side of your chest? Well, if you have an elite military training background, live in Germany or are willing to move there, you can now fulfill your dreams of single-boobery. But you have to act fast.
Dozens of soldiers it the Wachbataillon (German for man with one breast, you know how concise German words are) unit, which performs drill displays at official events, aredeveloping breasts on their left side because of the way they drill. It turns out that repeatedly slapping your chest in the same exact spot with heavy rifles can stimulate glands to produce hormones and cause a condition called one sided gynecomastia. (I’m sure the Germans have a single word for it but I don’t know what it is.) The condition has been diagnosed in 74 % of Wachbataillon members who have gone to army medics because of their “developments.”
katiehalper.com 