Full disclaimer. I’m single. So I shouldn’t exactly be doling out relationship advice. Then again, maybe I should be, because I have an objective distance from the subject. Luckily, Jane E. Brody, the Personal Health columnist for The New York Times has some advice to share in an article called “That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work.” Sounds like a downer, especially for lazy people who don’t like to work. But, according to Brody, the work is doable and could save many a relationship and marriage.

We have all heard that passion doesn’t last forever. As Brody puts it,

“the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet — does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done.”

Read more at Jezebel

In a world divided by conflict and difference, it’s beautiful to see that people from different cultures, and countries across the world can share something in common: really fucked up ideas about rape.

In the United States, we can boast of Todd “legitimate rape” Akin and Richard “rape-pregnancies are intended by God” Murdock. But we shouldn’t become too cocky about our own rape-related misogyny. Because there’s some really impressive stuff going on in all parts of the world. Take for instance, Daming Sanusi, a candidate for the Indonesian Supreme Court. On Monday, during a parliamentary commission hearing to determine if he was a fit for the top court, he was asked whether the death penalty should be applied in cases of rape. His response?

“Consideration needs to be taken thoroughly for the imposition of death penalty for a rapist because in a rape case both the rapist and the victim enjoy it.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the mind of a legal scholar!

Read more at Jezebel

It took more than half an hour in a London court today to read out the 51 counts against the 9 Oxford men accused of crimes including rape, forcing a child into prostitution and trafficking and using an instrument to procure a miscarriage. The abuse took place over a period of nearly eight years, with the victims between the ages of 11 and 15.

The prosecutor, Noel Lucas QC, warned the jury:

“The depravity of what was done to the complainants was extreme…. The facts in this case will make you feel uncomfortable. Much of what the girls were forced to endure was perverted in the extreme.”

The victims were allegedly bitten, suffocated, burnt, urinated on, raped vaginally, orally and anally and abused with weapons including knives, baseball bats, knives and meat cleavers.

The men are accused of preying on vulnerable girls, who came from troubled backgrounds, and whose stories would be doubted and behavior questioned. In behavior typical of abusers, the men would manipulate and play mind games with their victims. Lucas explained how the girls were manipulated “simply shown the care and attention they very much craved….The attention lavished on the girls at the outset was of course entirely insincere, as it was merely a device, you may conclude once you hear the evidence, to exploit their vulnerability.”

Read more at Jezebel

The nation — and the world — has been shocked and saddened by recent gun violence tragedies. There is some consensus that enough is enough, that the way we treat guns, gun laws, and gun culture must change. And yet, the National Rifle Association (NRA), the largest pro-gun lobby and one of the most influential lobbying groups in the United States seems to exist in a bubble of insensitivity. The worse things get, the more they cling to their guns, their loopholes, their fundamentalist laws, and, now, their games.

In light of last month’s shooting at the Sandy Hook elementary school, which killed 20 children and 6 adults, it’s truly heart-warming to see the NRA come out with a family-friendly shooting game aimed at children four and up. Sunday, the same NRA which likes to blame gun violence on gaming culture (or anything besides guns) released a free (because they’re nice that way) shooting app for your iPad or iPhone, called “NRA: Practice Range,” which it describes as:

“the NRA’s new mobile nerve center, delivering one-touch access to the NRA network of news, laws, facts, knowledge, safety tips, educational materials and online resources….NRA: Practice Range also offers a 3D shooting game that instills safe and responsible ownership through fun challenges and realistic simulations. It strikes the right balance of gaming and safety education, allowing you to enjoy the most authentic experience possible.”

Read more at Jezebel

Research, articles, ubiquitous workshops on the female orgasm all speak to the “orgasm gap,” the relative difficulty among women, compared to men, in achieving climax. And research, and articles and let’s be honest, personal experience all speak to the prevalence ofcasual sex. But what does casual sex mean, given this orgasmically bleak landscape. In other words, what’s the point of having a purely physical sexual encounter, if you don’t have an orgasm? Is it worth it to “jump on it” if you’re not going to get off from it? Did I just start writing like Carrie Bradshaw? Is that really relevant?

I started reflecting on orgasm-free casual sex at a workshop I recently went to with a few friends a called Grow Your Orgasm, Grow Your Power, run by Shiuan Butler. I meditated further on the subject after engaging in a study called Post-Workshop Discussion over Dinner and Drinks with Three of my Friends Who Had Attended the Workshop, (Katie Halper et al 2013). We talked about how much easier it is to orgasm with partners we know, and how much harder it was to be fulfilled by partners we don’t know.

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The Guttmacher Institute is reporting that 2012 saw the second highest number of abortion restrictions (43 in 19 states) ever. The scary thing is that this is better than 2011, when a record-breaking 92 abortion restrictions were enacted. Check out this scary graph, which shows the dangerous tendency towards taking away reproductive rights. We’ve really regressed. Let’s hope this year rings in fewer, and not more, abortion restrictions.

Read more at Feministing

Nothing makes you feel worse about being single than good ole-fashioned holiday cheer. And you’ve entered that period punctuated by a series of holidays whose sole purpose, it can seem, is to remind you of your romantic deficiency: the Christmas-New Year’s Eve-Valentine’s Day triumvirate. Times like these, you may get extremely maudlin, nostalgic and lonely, and it will be natural for you to want to reach out on any of these emotion-laden days. Do not — we repeat — do not do this.

Let’s take New Year’s Eve: arguably the worst of the three and the one most likely have you sexting, “U around? Cum over.” Maybe you’ll want to snuggle up with that formerly special someone and watch the ball drop. Maybe you’ll want to turn to your ex at midnight and kiss in the New Year. Maybe, on New Year’s Day, you’ll want to sip hot cocoa and walk, holding hands, in the snow. But resist. Remind yourself of why your ex is your ex. Maybe he* had an irrational fear of neediness that can be attributed to, but in no way justified by his problematic (to be charitable) relationship with his mother and would never get off his ass to make the two of you hot cocoa. Or maybe he would, but then silently resent you for the huge endeavor that is microwaving. Maybe, because of a sudden vain obsession with working out, that can be attributed to, but in no way justified by his childhood chubbiness, he would have turned a hand-holding stroll into solo jog, the mileage of which he would have reported on Facebook AND Twitter. Twitter? Really? Speaking of the interwebs, maybe the way he broke up with you was so inhumane, it’s reason enough to not be with him. These are purely hypothetical situations, of course. And the creativity of assholes knows no bounds, so, of course, choose your own douche-bag-based adventure.

Read more at Jezebel

Last night, perennially bronzed Speaker of the House John Boehner was forced to abandon “Plan B,” his “solution” to the “fiscal cliff,” after failing to get enough Republican support to bring it to a vote. Ouch. Kinda embarrassing. But what was Plan B? And what is the significance of its failure? When I saw first saw that Plan B was all over the Twitter and the interwebs, I assumed everyone was talking about emergency contraception. Turns out, in an attempt to avoid automatic tax hikes scheduled to take effect on Jan. 1, Boehner was proposing extending current tax rates for all Americans earning up to $1 million annually, as opposed to Obama’s income cut-off of $400,000.

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Donald Trump has successfully sued former Miss Pennsylvania Sheena Monnin for defaming his Miss Universe pageant by claiming the whole contest was rigged. The case went to arbitration and a very fair-minded judge ordered Monnin to pay the totally reasonable sum of $5 million to Donald’s humble org. Just to put this amount into context, the average payout from the September 11th Fund was $1.8 million.

In a statement, Trump said, “We cannot allow a disgruntled contestant to make false and reckless statements which are damaging to the many people who have devoted their hearts and souls to the Miss Universe, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageant systems….While I feel very badly for Sheena, she did the wrong thing. She was really nasty, and we had no choice. It is an expensive lesson for her.”

Poor Trump. If anyone knows about defamation, it’s Donald, who dabbles in it almost daily. I’d like to do my own arbitration on some of Trump’s most egregious cases; just imagine me wearing a judicial robe while I dish out some fines.

Read more at Jezebel

Today, the State Department released its internal investigation into BenghaziGate, which cited “systemic failures” and resulted in the resignation of three officials. But where, oh, where, is the Madame Secretary of State? Hillary Clinton was scheduled to testify tomorrow about the Libyan tragedy, and the GOP is adamant that she does so. But an immunologically defiant Hillary will stay at home, recovering from the concussion she sustained last week when she had a stomach virus, became dehydrated and fainted. Sure, Deputy Secretaries of State Bill Burns and Tom Nides will testify in her place. And, sure, she is reading the report from home and promises to follow its recommendations. And, sure, resting is standard doctor-recommended post-concussion procedure. But is that really all there is to the story?

The right-wing truth-tellers (RWTT™) may have caught Clinton in a devious lie. Fox’s Megan Kelly and Monica Crowley as well as The Daily Caller‘s Jim Treacher have all suggested that Hillary is faking her illness to avoid testifying about Benghazigate. And John Bolton, the notoriously charming Bush-appointed ambassador to the UN, said, “You know, every foreign service officer in every foreign ministry in the world knows the phrase I am about to use. When you don’t want to go to a meeting or conference, or an event, you have a ‘diplomatic illness,’ … And this is a diplomatic illness…” Ah ha! An experienced fake-sicker, John Bolton knows playing hooky when he sees it.

Read more at Jezebel