Awful “Fire Valerie Jarrett” piece is great for a middle school book report, “Mean Girls” GIF

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Originally published on RawStory

Politico published a very nuanced critique of Valerie Jarrett, a senior advisor to President Obama, with the equally nuanced title, “Fire Valerie Jarrett.” The piece, by Carol Felsenthal, isn’t very good journalism, since it mostly repeats and recycles the research of other people and doesn’t have any real new information or insights. But it would make for a great middle school book report, specifically a great middle school book report on Chuck Todd’s forthcoming The Stranger and the Ebook Obama’s Last Stand by Glenn Thrush from 2012. While reading the article I was  struck by the tone, which reminded me of something I couldn’t at first remember. Then it came to me: Mean Girls, the 2004 comedy, starring Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and Tina Fey about mean, cliquish, gossipy high school students. I realized that the article works perfectly when broken down into its cattiest pieces and set to GIFs from the film So, without any further ado, I present quotes from the article juxtaposed with Mean Girls GIFs. The headings are my words, by the quotes are all Felsenthal.

Someone needs to get her out of here!

“Almost since the start of Barack Obama’s presidency, people who have actual, real duties in the West Wing of the White House—the working, executive part of the government, that is—have been urging him to do something about Valerie Jarrett. Push her into the East Wing, where she can hang out with Michelle Obama and the White House social secretary, or give her an ambassadorship—or something—but for Pete’s sake get her out of the way of the hard work of governing that needs to be done.”  tumblr_ne1pcn10ue1qd243po1_500

 

What does she even do?

“Nobody knows precisely what Jarrett does in the White House. What exactly do her titles—senior advisor to the president, assistant to the president in charge of the Office of Intergovernmental Affairs, the Office of Public Engagement, the White House Council on Women and Girls—mean?”
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