Top 10 Best Moments From the GOP Debate

12 Dec

1. Newt Gingrich proclaims: “I’m a hawk. But I’m a cheap hawk.” Just like I like my men: aggressive and ungenerous. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t had MORE wives.

2. Michele Bachmann vows “I will build a double-walled fence.” It is unclear whether she moonlights in construction or will have her 23 children build the fence.

3. Rick Perry uses the Palinist method, ignoring the question he’s asked, answering the question he would like to ask and telling Anderson Cooper, “You get to ask the questions, I get to answer like I want to.”

4. Anderson Cooper either forgets who is talking to or actually thinks the following distinction will not be lost on Perry, replying, “That’s actually a response, that’s not an answer, but go ahead.”

5. Michele Bachmann says “We need to listen to Ronald Reagan. No pastels. We need bold colors.” Actually, that was her husband.

6. Cain stands by his statement “Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks. If you don’t have a job, and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Receives a loud and extended applause usually reserved for an impressive number of executions and letting sick people die.

7. Newt Gingrich insists on the importance of a candidate’s religion: “how can you have judgment if you have no faith? And how can I trust you with power if you don’t pray?” Nice to know that he and Ahmadinejad see theocratic eye to theocratic eye on that one.

8. Comparing himself to Mitt Romney, Cain says, “his business executive experience has been more Wall Street- oriented; mine has been more Main Street.” I would have said “more thin-crusted.”

9. Anderson Cooper cites Baptist pastor who called Mormonism “a cult.” Audience boos, though it’s unclear whether they are booing the statement or whether they are booing the religion itself. Mormonism may have been the gay solider of the night.

10. Post Debate CNN panel includes Ari Fleischer. Apparently no other war crimes-enabling liars were available.

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