Top Ten Greatest Moments of the South Carolina Primaries

Originally posted on The Nation

1. The biggest shock of the night is that it’s a Saturday night and MSNBC isn’t screening Lockdown.

2. #DontBother is trending on Twitter. I’m pretty sure that was Twitter talking to Mitt Romney.

3. The Romney rally does the wave, demonstrating just how in touch the Romney campaign is with the American people… circa 1997. The empty Mitt Romney podium visible as we wait for the Governor to arrive serves as the perfect Mittaphor: it’s there, and it says Mitt Romney, but there’s nothing actually behind it.

4. Ron Paul shows up in an outfit that suggests he’s trying to steal some of Rick Santorum’s sweater vest thunder and says: “[crazy, crazy, crazy, something smart on foreign policy, crazy, crazy, crazy, something smart on special interests, gold is good, end the fed, crazy, crazy, crazy].”

5. Rick Santorum comes out (sans sweater vest, which may be the reason he lost). He proclaims that he and his grandfather are among the people who hold on tightly to their guns and Bibles. But in the case of his grandfather, I’m pretty sure he means he holds on tightly to his hammer and sickle.

6. Chris Matthews delivers absolutely terrible news to Florida when he says that Gingrich “is gonna hit all the erogenous zones down there.”

7. Newt surprises world by not coming out on a litter carried by poor children.

8. Newt calls out the elites. Because nothing screams salt of the earth more than a man with a Tiffany’s habit.

9. Newt also demonstrates how in touch he is with the American—and specifically South Carolinian—people, by dropping an always-resonant Saul Alinsky reference.

10. Obama supporters worldwide pray that Florida is just as racist as South Carolina, that they find a moderator of color and that the moderator brings up Gingrich’s affairs.

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