These abhorrent messages are courtesy of Christians, Jews and Muslims.

These hateful homophobic church signs are made not by clergy, but rather the flocks they shepherd: Christians, Jews and Muslims alike. Enjoy!

1. Loophole for lesbians? This sign focuses on the solution to the “problem” of gay marriage. And that solution is hanging. The sign, on display at an Indianapolis rally during the National Organization for Marriage’s Summer for Marriage tour, is based on the book of Leviticus: “If a man also lie with mankind the way he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.” Sure, this open call for executing gay men is way harsh. But it is surprisingly promising for lesbian women. Guess they can lie with women however they want. Also, where are the signs for enforcing the other punishments laid out in Leviticus, like killing people who curse their parents; shunning people who shave or cut their hair; wearing clothes made of mixed fabrics; having sex with menstruating women; and banning flat-nosed, “lame” or “blind” people from entering the altar of god.

2. GAY: Gay-related acronyms for Yahweh. If you’ve ever wished you had a mnemonic device for bigotry, you’re in luck! You’ll never forget why you hate the homos, thanks to this helpful and clever sign, which was held at a rally attended by 2,000 people in support of a North Carolina pastor who was under attack. What was his crime? He offended people during a Mother’s Day sermon when he quoted the Bible verbatim and said, “I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers….Build a great big large fence—50 or 100 miles long—put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. And you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out. Do you know why? They can’t reproduce!”

3. If these anuses could talk. This sign is from an anti-gay protest organized by religious groups in Kampala, Uganda in 2007. It gets right to the orifice of the matter: “Anus 4 defication.” The tagline, “A spoon is a spoon & a spade is a spade,” reminds us that an anus is an anus. And it’s for defecation. Nothing more. Nothing less.

4. God loves “God Hates Fags” apparel for kids! This isn’t a sign, per se, but it is an effective and kid-friendly way to spread the homophobic and hateful word of god. Kids love shirts that say God Hates Fags (I mean, just look at how happy the little girl is)! And God Loves Parents who use their children as ideological props and dress them in propaganda expressing something kids definitely don’t understand! With these Westboro Baptist Church motto shirts, you can really wear your lack of heart on your children’s sleeve.

5. Men at devious work.Sometimes, a picture speaks 1,000 words. And when the words are in Serbian, it’s especially helpful. This is another kid-friendly and accessible way to say, “I’m really insecure.”

6. Don’t think I forgot about Jews! (One of the greatest benefits of being Jewish is being able to make corny you/Jew puns.) I would be remiss to overlook the way some Orthodox Jews have contributed to this wonderful tradition of clever, homophobia-inspired signs. This ominous sign was held by ultra-Orthodox men protesting a 2010 gay pride march in Jerusalem. I’m sure it caused lots of marchers to question their homosexuality.

7. Giraffe-curious. This ultra Orthodox Jew, protesting in New York, is clearly inspired by a rabbinical, dialectical, questioning tradition as well as a strong sexual attraction to animals. He provides two examples of how homosexuality is just one slippery slope away from bestiality.

8. Homosexuality causes baldness. I recognize the word “Transeksual,” at the bottom of the banner. And kriminal looks like criminal. So, I’m going to have to assume that the sign says something along the lines of, “Homosexuality is criminal and linked to baldness.” Actually, I just checked. And it means, “Forbidden, Crime and Disgusting.” Lovely! The faithful had gathered to protest against the planned International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex Association’s regional conference in East Java, which wound up being canceled because of security concerns.