10 Songs Republican Candidates Should Use in Their Campaigns

These tracks are much better suited to the GOP presidential hopefuls

Rick Perry and britney Spears
Rick Perry and Britney Spears
Photo: Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call/Getty; Larry Marano/Getty
Originally posted on Rolling Stone

Republicans are notorious for using artists’ music without their permission, sometimes hijacking songs critical of Republican values. During his 1984 presidential campaign, Ronald Reagan tried to use Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” – somehow missing its critique of American exceptionalism and militarism. Springsteen said no, but that didn’t stop Reagan from quoting it in a stump speech.

Cut to 2015, and Donald Trump has set his presidential announcement to Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World – a pretty clear indictment of George Bush the first – prompting the Canadian rocker to chastise the Donald and endorse Bernie Sanders.

To help other Republicans who may be struggling to choose an appropriate campaign song, we’ve put together a list of tracks that would work well for some of the 2016 presidential hopefuls.

Jeb Bush: “Chain Gang,” Sam Cooke

Bush, one of the frontrunners in the crowded GOP field, has this advice for Americans: Work longer hours! Oh, and by the way, don’t ask for overtime. This song seems to embody his ethos, which – as you can imagine – has gone over super well with already overworked voters.

Ben Carson: “Hands,” Jewel

Carson isn’t only a presidential hopeful and Tea Party darling – he’s also a renowned neurosurgeon who wrote a 1996 memoir called Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (which became a made-for-TV movie with Cuba Gooding Jr.). Carson is almost certainly not going to be president, so Gifted Hands might be his most lasting legacy. Play him out, Jewel.

Lindsey Graham: “Call Me,” Blondie

Graham recently learned the hard way what happens when you repeatedly call Donald Trump a “jackass”: Trump will retaliate by giving out your personal phone number during a stump speech.

Ted Cruz: “Girl on Fire,” Alicia Keys

Speaking at a Strafford County Republican Committee meeting in New Hampshire in March, Cruz vilified President Obama and the Democrats – as is his wont – and described the world as being “on fire.” When a three-year-old girl from the audience asked the senator, “The world is on fire?” Cruz responded by surely terrifying her: “Yes!” he exclaimed. “Your world is on fire! But you know what? Your mommy is here and everyone is here to make sure that the world you grow up in is even better.”

“Your World Is on Fire” unfortunately hasn’t been recorded yet, so this will have to do in the meantime.

Carly Fiorina: “Got Your Money,” Ol’ Dirty Bastard Featuring Kelis

With no political experience under her belt, Fiorina likes to sell herself as a good businesswoman. Unfortunately, her track record is so bad, a high-level former campaign staffer once said, “I’d rather go to Iraq than work for Carly Fiorina again.” And a dozen people who worked on Fiorina’s unsuccessful 2010 Senate campaign have said they wouldn’t work for her presidential campaign, because she didn’t pay them. In all fairness, Fiorina, who is worth $120 million, had other financial obligations after her Senate bid: She repaid herself $1.2 million and then bought a $6 million five-acre waterfront estate in Virginia.

Bobby Jindal: “The Exorcist” Theme Song

Plenty of dudes brag about college exploits. Jindal is no different – except the wild time he talks about involves an apparent exorcism. This song will remind people of the Louisiana governor’s healing powers.

George Pataki: “Say My Name,” Destiny’s Child

Pataki is almost as memorable and charismatic as Anne Veal of Arrested Development. (“Who?”) This song may be the former New York governor’s only shot at fixing his name recognition problem.

Rick Perry: “Oops!. . .I Did It Again,” Britney Spears

If there’s anyone this Britney classic would be appropriate for, it’s Perry, who during a 2011 Republican debate couldn’t remember the third government agency he would absolutely, positively, most definitely cut as president. “I will tell you, it’s three agencies of government when I get there that are gone. Commerce, education and the, um, what’s the third one there?” he said. “Oops.”

Donald Trump: “Hot Stepper,” Ini Kamoze

It’s grandiose, inappropriate and awkward – yet undeniably amusing. It’s like it was handcrafted for the Donald’s campaign.

Throwback Thursday: 13 Times we’re pretty sure Rick Perry was high as a kite on drugs

image via youtube
image via youtube
Originally posted on RawStory

Ah, Ricky Perry. It’s so nice to have him in the race! Perry is probably the most entertaining of all the terrible people fighting for the nomination, though it’s hard to keep track because there are so many and odds are another person will have signed up by the time I’ve published this post.

But here are some moments when Perry’s statements or affect were so off, it was hard to believe he wasn’t on drugs. And, this isn’t just hyperbole. One 2011 speech in particular provoked speculation that the Texas governor was taking pain medication, since he had undergone back surgery. As The San Francisco Chronicle reported, one clip captured on video,

described by some as bizarre and incoherent, shows Perry mugging, joking and playing with the audience as he describes New Hampshire’s motto, “Live Free or Die” as “cool” and appears to collapse in giggles over a gift of maple syrup.

Perry shrugged off the criticism and appeared flummoxed by the attention to the address.

“I’ve probably given 1,000 speeches. There are some that have been probably boring, some that have been animated, some that have been in between,” he said.

Responding to the suggestions by some political observers that the animated Perry may have been on pain medication for his past back surgery, the governor said: “No. I was just giving a speech.”

And he wasn’t drunk either!

“Asked about “The Daily Show” comedian Jon Stewart‘s suggestion that Perry looked like he had been drinking, the governor said, “It wasn’t that either.”

“It’s not that I wouldn’t love to sit down with Jon and have a glass of wine,” he said with a laugh, adding “if he’ll buy.”

I’m sure Jon would be down.

Without further ado, here  is Rick Perry high as a kite on drugs, getting the voting age wrong, thinking Woodrow Wilson was alive ten years ago, and seemingly impersonating an effeminate gay man.

Rick Perry’s Greatest Hits: He’s Gone But Not Forgotten

Originally posted on The Nation

Rick Perry may have quit the race—at a Wendy’s, appropriately—but his words will always be with us. Here are some of the gems he said during the campaign. We’ll always have the memories! And the video! Perry has endorsed Gingrich, in his latest gaffe, and Newt has officially asked Perry to head a Tenth Amendment enforcement project for him. I would have gone with the Second:

Rick Perry Kills an Innocent Man & Covers it up/ Save Troy Davis

Rick Perry’s record number of executions drew applause at last week’s GOP debate. Among the 234– whoops, make that 235 as of today, it’s hard to keep up– killed under Perry was Cameron Todd Willingham, who received the death penalty for killing his three daughters by arson. Right before the execution, it was revealed that the science on which Willingham’s conviction was based was bogus. Perry ignored the revelation, executed Willingham, and then covered it up.  While the state of Texas rates number one in number of executions, Georgia is a close seven and even has its own executions of innocents under its belt! Georgia is gearing up to kill another one, Troy Davis. Davis has been on death row for 20 years for the 1989 murder of a Savannah police officer. The case against him rested on witness testimony but seven of nine key witnesses have recanted or changed their testimony, some alleging police coercion. Help save an innocent man and sign the petitions launched byAmnesty International,  the NAACPChange.org by Troy’s sister, and moveon.org

URL: