3 Things We Learned About Sex This Week: The Surprising Time in Life When Sex Really Picks Up

Fascinating sex discoveries.

Here are some new sex breakthroughs sure to bring smiles to faces and genitals around the world.

1. Scratching the 50-Year Itch

As anyone who is married, has friends who are married, or has seen a television show, movie or standup set surely knows, sex is frequent at the beginning of a marriage, but tends to taper off over time. But there’s great news for people who miss having sex with their partners: if you stay married to the same person, you will experience a slight rebound, after 50 years of not so hot and heavy marital bliss.

This is one of the main discoveries of the study, “Marital Characteristics and the Sexual Relationships of U.S. Older Adults,” published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, which looked at the marriages and sexual behaviors of 1,656 married adults ages 57-85. Another interesting discovery is that people who are remarried don’t have have sex as frequently at the beginning of their marriages as those who are married for the first time.

The researchers offered various untested theories to try to explain the results. Samuel Stroope, a former Baylor researcher and current assistant professor of sociology at Louisiana State University hypothesizes:

It may be that the permanency of the relationship contributes to sexual relations picking up a bit at the end…. Growing old as a couple, with the experience and knowledge that come with that, may play a part. You are able to learn about your partner and build on that over time. You may have a higher level of trust when you feel that your spouse isn’t going to go anywhere. The expectation that the relationship will continue may give you more reason to invest in the relationship — including in sexual aspects of the relationship. As people age, they tend to be more even-keeled, which may help cut down on marital conflict and facilitate regular sexual activity into advanced age.

As for the less frequent sex experienced at the beginning of second marriages, Stroope surmised, “It may be that those who have been married in the past may not have as strong of a sense of permanence or lasting investment.”

The bad news for those looking forward to an uptick in sex half a century later, is that a relatively small number of people actually stay alive or married to the same person for that long.

2. Penis Reduction Surgery Not Expected to Become a Popular Craze

Ron Albertson of Blaine, Missouri reported having penis reduction surgery in 1996. But that was in Waiting for Guffman, one of the greatest comedies ever made… ever, and not actually a true story. Fast forward two decades, and we have the first man to actually undergo penis reduction surgery in real life. The operation was performed in Florida on an unidentified 17-year-old whose penis was 7 inches long and 10 inches wide. The penis was also misshapen due to priapism, or painful prolonged erections.

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Romance tips from an end-time pastor: Demons torture married couples who practice ‘woman on top’

image via youtube
image via youtube

Are you ever unable to sleep because you’re wondering which sexual positions will land you in hell, where you will be tortured by demons who will cut you, “in the most painful places”? Well, you’re in luck! A UK pastor has released a video explaining, in great detail, the various behaviors that will get you banned from heaven. And his source is pretty good… infallible, I would say in fact: god! So, you’re gonna want to pay attention.

The video, which is called, “Warning to Married Christian Couples from the Lord Jesus Christ,” is the creation of the Nigerian Pastor Olugbenga Oladejo, who founded the Complete in Christ Church (CICC), an “end-time” church which teaches “sinners to repent and children of God to be ready like the wise virgins,” located in Peterborough, England.

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5 Things We Learned About Sex This Week

Maybe size does matter, at least when it comes to fingers.

Last week brought some surprising findings about the thing on everyone’s mind: sex! (See? You knew what I was talking about.) Learn all about the link between emojis and sex, education and porn, storms and porn, the Super Bowl and porn and… finger length and fidelity.

1. More emojis, more sex :p. The online dating site Match.com has released its fifth annual Singles in America survey. The survey, which included 5,675 singles 18 and older, was conducted by Helen Fisher, Match.com’s chief scientific advisor and a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute. The study found that the more emojis people used, the more sex they had ;). Or the more sex they had, the more emojis they used.

Therein lies the rub. Before looking at the specific data, it’s important to note that while there is a sex-emoji correlation, it’s not necessarily causal. But 54% of “emoji users” had sex in 2014 while only 31% of non-emoji users had sex during the same time period.

Emoji users also go on more dates and want to get married more than their non-emoji-using counterparts. Fisher says, “Sixty-two percent of emoji users want to get married compared to 30% of people who never used an emoji.”

Why this bizarre correlation? Forty-nine percent of men surveyed and 53% of women liked emojis because, “they show personality.” Thirty-seven percent of the men and 36% of the women appreciated that “they make it easier to express feelings.” And emojis are “more convenient,” according to 21% of the men and 18% of the women.

The three most-used emojis are the kiss, the wink and the smiley face. Among men, the most frequently used are the kiss and the heart eyes, while among women it’s the smiley face and the lips.

2. Porn-ucation: You know how the Brits sound smarter? Well, it turns out they look smarter when they watch porn. Because, it turns out, they may be doing it for educational reasons. The National Union of Students in the UK surveyed 2,500 university students and found that 60% of them turned to porn to find out more about sex, with 40% claiming that watching porn actually helped them learn about sex. The students aren’t delusional, since 75% of the ones in the survey stated that porn created unrealistic expectations. But they have found the UK’s Sex and Relationship Education to be lacking. Two thirds of the students surveyed said consent was never covered in their classes, less than half had learned anything about relationships, and not even a fifth had discussed LGBT issues.

3. The perfect blizzard activity and Super Bowl chaser.  While some Brits may have educational aspirations behind their porn viewing, we in the United States like to watch to come down from our drunken Super Bowl stupor or pass the time when it’s cold and snowy. I’m using the term “we” loosely  since I’ve never watched… the Super Bowl. (True story.) Data from PornHub Insights, the more wholesome branch of the site Porn Hub, reveals that porn viewing on Porn Hub and Youporn dropped by 28% between 8 and 9pm on Sunday.  People were quick to make up for lost time, however, and average porn watching went up by 9% after the game.

Porn Hub also collected data on how people spent the blizzard Juno. The Northeast found solace in porn, watching an average of 20% more than usual. But guess which state really got it up in terms of porn use? New Jersey, where the porn consumption during Juno spiked by 26%.

4. Men and women cheat! Most animals are either totally monogamous or totally polygamous. Walruses, chimps and baboons, for instance, are swingers, so to speak, as anyone who’s ever tried to date one knows all too well.  Penguins and marmosets, however, are committed for life. But we human beings can go either way, so to speak.

Rafael Wlodarski, an experimental psychologist at the University of Oxford in England and his colleagues asked 585 North Americans and British respondents between the ages of 18 and 63 to fill out an online questionnaire on sexual habits and beliefs, with questions like, “With how many different partners have you had sexual intercourse on one and only one occasion?”

According to Wlodarski, “We observed what appears to be a cluster of males and a cluster of females who are more inclined to ‘stay,’ with a separate cluster of males and females being more inclined to ‘stray’ when it comes to sexual relationships…. This research suggests that there may be two distinct types of individuals within each sex pursuing different mating strategies. Rather than it being a whole gamut of mating strategies, there seems to be two potential phenotypes within males and within females.”

But the questionnaire isn’t the only evidence to support this claim. Which brings us to….

5. Maybe size does matter, at least when it comes to fingers. The study also collected photocopies of people’s right hands to look at the length of their index and ring fingers, specifically the 2D:4D ratio, or the ratio between the lengths of the index and ring finger. Previous studies have shown that the longer someone’s ring finger is in relation to the index finger, the more testosterone they were exposed to in the womb. Typically, higher levels of testosterone lead to higher rates of promiscuity. Combining the images and the hand measurements, the authors determined that 57% of men and 47% of women were more likely to be promiscuous, while 43% of men and 53% of women were more penguinesque, or predisposed to commit.

Of course, this isn’t a genetic life or sex sentence, if you will. People with relatively shorter ring fingers can be rock-solid faithful partners. And someone with a really long pointer finger could break your heart into a million little pieces by cheating on you with a million people of various sizes.

As study co-author Robin Dunbar says, “It is important to note that these differences are very subtle, and are only visible when we look at large groups of people: we cannot really predict who is going to be more or less faithful… Human behavior is influenced by many factors, such as the environment and life experience, and what happens in the womb might only have a modest effect on something as complex as sexual relationships.”

I’ll still be looking at people’s hands.

Originally posted on Alternet

Men More Sexually Aroused When They Suspect Cheating? 4 Weird Things Science Told Us About Sex This Week

Here are some things we learned about sex this week. Rats: They’re just like us! Or a little like us, when it comes to liking their ladies in lingerie.

1. Male rats like their lady rats in lingerie: If you thought human males were the only ones into lingerie, you are wrong and very anthro-normative. It’s not that either humans or rats are evolutionarily programmed to like Victoria Secret. It’s that both humans and male rats can learn how to associate certain things with sex and thus find them sexier. Psychologists from Concordia University in Montreal gathered a dozen of male virgin rats (I know! Where do you find even a handful of virgin rats these days?) and threw a rat mixer for them. All the lady rats in attendance were wearing little rat jackets. And the male and female rats mated, as the do. On another occasion, scientists took the same bunch of now not-so-virgin male rats and threw them into a room, or cage, with two lady rats. One was naked and one was wearing the same jacket. The rats preferred the jacketed one. And by prefer I mean mounted her more frequently and ejaculated faster. Co-author Gonzalo R. Quintana Zunino explained that the experiment demonstrated that rats were able to learn, “Each time my partner wears lingerie [a jacket], I’m going to have sex.” Sounds a little presumptuous.

2. There must be something in the mistletoe: I must go to very boring holiday parties because I find this next study shocking. According to a survey done on 1,500 people by married dating site IllicitEncounters.com, 34% of Brits have sex with their colleagues after office holiday parties. So, a married dating site may skew a little, statistically speaking, when it comes to shagging (that’s what the Brits call having sex). Also 67% kissed a co-worker.

3. Indonesia introduces male birth control: Indonesian scientists are making pills with from the gendarussa shrub, which men on the island of Papua have long used as birth control by boiling it in tea and drinking it a half hour before having sex. According to scientists from the government’s National Family Planning Coordination Board and Airlangga University, the pills, which have been tested on 350 men, are 99% effective. They will go on sale in 2016. Why is male birth control so exciting? Well, it doesn’t mess with a woman’s hormones, which can have unpleasant side-effects.
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4 Weirdest Things We Learned About Sex This Week

The old adage, “Don’t have sex in the sea or you will get stuck to person you’re having sex with,” is true.

This week brings us some fascinating stories about that thing that’s almost always on everyone’s mind: sex. Here are some interesting stories about a marriage equality-advocating snail, the perils of ocean sex and why getting laid is good for your brain.

1. Gays use hermaphrodite snails to spread their gay marriage propaganda.

In what must be huge and exciting news to the community of people interested in snail species classification, a new snail species has been discovered. What makes this story relevant to the rest of us is the name the researchers in Taiwan decided to give the newly identified species: Aegista diversifamilia. The name, which means diverse family, was chosen to send a message and make a statement, as Dr. Yen-Chang explained. The snails “are hermaphrodite animals, which means they have both male and female reproductive organs in single individual. They represent the diversity of sex orientation in the animal kingdom. We decided that maybe this is a good occasion to name the snail to remember the struggle for the recognition of same-sex marriage rights.”

Lest you think it’s totes inappropes to name a species after something creative or current-events related, you’ll be glad to know that scientists named a beetle after Arnold Schwarzenegger because of its biceps-like legs, a lichen after Barack Obama to recognize his support of science, and perhaps most appropriately slime mold beetles after George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld.

2. Your brain wants more sex, fewer crossword puzzles.

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