Tag: RawStory

Articles originally posted on RawStory.com

The best right-wing Christian Halloween costumes of 2014

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With Halloween less than two weeks away, it’s never too early to start planning your costume. This year, why not make a statement and go as your favorite Christian Right hero, heroine, meme or hypocrisy.


1. ABSTINENCE ONLY

Bristol_Palin
Bristol Palin (Wiki Commons)

What You’ll Need:  Long brown hair or a wig; a suit (skirt and jacket) or a professional dancer outfit; name tags; a sharpie; a pillow; a real life or toy baby or toddler; a bottle of Mountain Dew or a bottle of Bleach; condoms; a hole-puncher.

Instructions: Put on a suit or a Dancing with the stars outfit and shove a pillow in it so you look pregnant. Also wear a long brown hair wig.  Write Bristol Palin on a name tag and put it on yourself. Write Tripp Palin on a name tag and put it on real or doll baby. Take the condoms out of the wrapper and hole punch through each one in a few places. Then put the condoms in your pocket.  Carry around the baby in one hand all night. In the other hand carry the bottle of bleach or Mountain Dew. Offer people sips and explain that abstinence only is the best policy but that if they’re in a jam, they should drink some Mountain Dew so they don’t get pregnant. Take out the hole-punched condoms and explain that those never work.

2. GAY MARRIAGE

Florida Box Turtle (wikipedia)
Florida Box Turtle (wikipedia)

 

What You’ll Need: An adult-sized tuxedo; a stuffed animal of your choice, but preferably a box turtle, if you can find one; a baby tuxedo; poster board; sharpie, preferably a rainbow pack; two gold rings; crazy glue.

Instructions: Put on the tuxedo and the ring. Take the stuffed animal (hopefully a box turtle, but any animal will do) and put it in the baby tuxedo. Crazy glue the ring onto the animal. Take the poster board and write “Just Married” on it. If you bought the rainbow pack, alternate the colors for the different letters. Put the sign on your back. Continue reading “The best right-wing Christian Halloween costumes of 2014” →

7 Church signs with painfully unfunny puns

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There are so many good reasons to avoid church– hypocrisy, corruption, child abuse, child abuse enabling and covering up. Now you can add a new one:  billboards trying and failing to be funny through painfully unfunny puns.

1. Put the fun back in fundamentalist. At least they’re honest about being fundamentalist.

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2. The Devil’s in the Pun’s Clever Details.

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3. When Hell is and isn’t a Curse. 

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Continue reading “7 Church signs with painfully unfunny puns” →

This is what Columbus Day would look like if you included an actual Native American

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Photo by Rodrigo Jardon
Photo by Rodrigo Jardon

See Also: Five scary Christopher Columbus quotes that let you celebrate the holiday the right way

I went to New York City’s Columbus Day Parade on Monday to see how people were celebrating the man who is credited more with  “discovering America” than he is not knowing where he was, spreading disease, advocating slavery, spreading the inquisition, and coordinating rape.

What was fascinating was seeing not just Italians and Italian-Americans marching but people who were the descendants of people who had been colonized.

But not everyone was OK with the sanitization of Christopher Columbus. As I was leaving I ran into Eagle Sun, who was arguing with an Italian-American over the virtues of Columbus.

This should explain why some cities and states are refusing to observe Columbus Day and observing Indigenous People’s Day instead.

Originally posted on RawStory

Five scary Christopher Columbus quotes that let you celebrate the holiday the right way

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Happy Columbus Day! I hope you’re celebrating the holiday appropriately, by breaking into someone’s home and claiming that you discovered and now own it! Or you could just, you know, mourn the genocide of indigenous people by shopping. Because we all grieve in different ways.

You’ve probably heard lots of great things about Christopher Columbus and tons of inspiring quotes from him about hard work, god, the sea etc. But those don’t really capture what Columbus and the colonial expansion of which he was part were all about. So, without further ado, allow me to present these quotes that you may not have heard, from or about Christopher Columbus.

1. Conquest: the perfect chaser for expelling Muslims and Jews. You don’t have to be an academic to link Spain’s colonial expansion abroad with its inquisition at home. Columbus made the connection himself. Of course he saw this as a good thing, not a bad one– a killer combo, if you will. He wrote to King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain

YOUR HIGHNESSES, as Catholic Christians and Princes who love the holy Christian faith, and the propagation of it, and who are enemies to the sect of Mahoma [Islam] and to all idolatries and heresies, resolved to send me, Cristóbal Colon, to the said parts of India to see the said princes … with a view that they might be converted to our holy faith …. Thus, after having turned out all the Jews from all your kingdoms and lordships … your Highnesses gave orders to me that with a sufficient fleet I should go to the said parts of India …. I shall forget sleep, and shall work at the business of navigation, so that the service is performed.

2. These Natives are so nice, we’d be crazy not to enslave them! This excerpt from Columbus’ diary describes the Arawak people who greeted him and his men:

They … brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks’ bells. They willingly traded everything they owned… . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features…. They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane… . They would make fine servants…. With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.

Continue reading “Five scary Christopher Columbus quotes that let you celebrate the holiday the right way” →

The HindJew Connection: why Israel and India are becoming BFFs

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Things are getting really hot and heavy between Israel and India. Just hours after arriving in New York City for the UN General Assembly last month, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met with his Indian counterpart, Narendra Modi. Modi even spent some quality time with the American Jewish Committee. Moving forward, India will finally receive the Barak-1, the missile manufactured by the Israel Aerospace Industries (IAI). On the archeological front, Modi’s government is speeding up the renovation and restoration of India’s synagogues. And, in the ultimate metaphor of penetration, a cyclone named after the state bird of Israel is headed towards India!

So what explains the increasingly intimate relations between these two countries? According to Netenyahu,

We’re two old peoples, some of the oldest civilizations on earth. But we’re also two democracies… If we work together we can [seize the future]….We’re very excited by the prospects of greater and greater ties with India. We think the sky’s the limit.

And Modi said,

I agree with you that India Israel relations are historical. I met this morning with people from the Jewish community, the American Jewish Council. …India is the only country where anti-semitism has never been allowed to come up, and where Jews have never suffered, and lived as an integral part of our society.

Indeed, Modi’s party, the Bharatiya Jana Sangh or BJP, is right wing. And as Philip Weiss points out in a post on the “Bromance” between Modi and Netenyahu, the two leaders have a special connection: Continue reading “The HindJew Connection: why Israel and India are becoming BFFs” →

Clayton ‘rape victims should relax and enjoy it,’ Williams is funding TX Gov GOP nominee Greg Abbott

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greg abbott

Texas Republican gubernatorial candidate and current Attorney General Greg Abbott is already impressively anti-woman in his policies and statements. But now he gets to add this gem to his misogynist achievements: being bankrolled by Clayton Williams, the oil and gas tycoon who lost the governor’s race to Ann Richards and is famous for saying of rape “if it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it.”

But, as every man who makes inappropriate and offensive statements about rape is quick to remind us, the quote was just taken out of context. Once you see the context, you’ll be totes fine with it. Back in March of 1990, Williams, the president and CEO of Clayton Williams Energy, an oil and gas company based in Texas, who everyone predicted would win the governor’s race, was getting ready for a cattle roundup at his ranch in West Texas when he harmlessly compared the bad weather to… rape. Who hasn’t done that before? And Williams felt terrible remorse right away, offering the classic “I’m sorry if anyone’s offended” line, which isn’t an apology for what you did as much as it is an expression of pity for those stupid or sensitive enough to miss out on a great comedic moment.

He even explained why he made the statement he did: context! “That’s not a Republican women’s club that we were having this morning… It’s a working cow camp, a tough world where you can get kicked in the testicles if you’re not careful.” It’s a tough world, indeed, where you can get kicked in the testicles for failing to compare inclement meteorological conditions to rape and for failing to tell women how they should just go with the rape flow. OK. So, still not remorseful. But, later on, when asked if he was worried he had offended anyone, he said, “I’m not going to give you a serious answer. It wasn’t a serious deal. It wasn’t a serious statement.” Eventually, of course, he came around, with the same sincerity of the Mormon Church on ordaining Black priests, saying, ”I feel just terrible about this. I had no intention in my heart to hurt anyone, especially those women who have been traumatized by rape.”

Well, it turns out that Williams has donated $120,000 over the past 13 months to Abbott, who is running against Democrat state Senator Wendy Davis of Fort Worth. And it was revealed this week that he has also donated $15,000 donation to Houston state senator and GOP lieutenant governor nominee Dan Patrick, who is running against Democratic nominee Leticia Van de Putte, a San Antonio state senator. And what do Patrick and Abbott have in common? They are both running against women and they are both terrible on women’s issues. Both oppose abortion even in cases of rape and incest. Dan Patrick voted against giving funds to test a backlog of rape kits in Texas. And Abbott pays his female employees less, on average, than his male employees. Male employees earn an average of $60,200 a year working for Abbott, while women make $44,708.

Williams is so toxic that though he raised $300,000 for then presidential nominee John McCain in 2008, the Arizona Senator canceled a fundraiser and returned the money! But in Texas, he’s A.OK!

Originally posted on RawStory

Netanyahu says criticism of Israel is ‘against American values’ and brags about manipulating America

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gestures (AFP)

Dear Bibi,

I have a humble suggestion. If you want to make the absurd claim that any criticism of Israel is against American values, you’re going to want to at least pretend that you care about America and American values. So, you won’t, for example, want to brag about how you manipulate the United States and undermine U.S.-brokered peace accords.

During an interview aired on CBS Sunday, you, Israel’s prime minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, attacked the United States for daring to criticize Israel’s latest settlements and for daring to speak candidly about the way other countries would view Israel’s actions. In that sexy, sinister voice, which so perfectly embodies your combover, you said, “It’s against the American values. And it doesn’t bode well for peace… The idea that we’d have this ethnic purification as a condition for peace, I think it’s anti-peace.”

It’s true. What is more UnAmerican than a basic head not towards civil rights and human rights and… candor.

But here’s the thing, Bibi. If you want to pretend that you care about American values and about peace, you have to be somewhat convincing. You have to commit to a role and get into character. You can’t overtly say things that show your contempt for the U.S. and the peace process. Like, remember back in in 2001, when you bragged on tape about how easy it was to manipulate the United States? You said, “I know what America is. America is a thing you can move very easily, move it in the right direction. They won’t get in their way.”

And that’s not it. You also explained how you sabotaged the peace process when you were prime minister and Bill Clinton was president:

They asked me before the election if I’d honor [the Oslo accords],” he said. “I said I would, but … I’m going to interpret the accords in such a way that would allow me to put an end to this galloping forward to the ’67 borders. How did we do it? Nobody said what defined military zones were. Defined military zones are security zones; as far as I’m concerned, the entire Jordan Valley is a defined military zone. Go argue.

So, moving forward, for future reference, be a better and slicker liar.

Originally posted on RawStory

The rantings of the Brooklyn Coffee shop owner who calls Jews ‘greedy infiltrators’ and himself a ‘nudge’

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We Shall overcome: the lesbian sperm bank remix

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Most women who, for whatever reason, cannot become pregnant on their own, are thrilled artificial insemination enables them to have a child. But Jennifer Cramblett, of eastern Ohio is so upset about her daughter, she’s suing the sperm bank. Why? Because the sperm bank accidentally mailed her sperm from a black donor. And that means that Cramblett’s two-year-old daughter, Payton, is… wait for it… bi-racial.

As David Ferguson reported on,  this is something Cramblett, who had requested a white man’s sperm, didn’t want. So, she’s suing the Midwest Sperm Bank, which mixed up the sperm batches when it read a vial labeled  380 as 330. According to her lawsuit and attorney, Cramblett should be compensated so she can move because she lives in an intolerant town, has an intolerant family and intolerant friends. Attorney Thomas Intili said, “she lives in an all-white community in eastern Ohio. She did not encounter any African-American people until she entered college. Not all her friends and family members are racially sensitive.” Perhaps most painful of all is that Cramblett is forced to travel a long distance to get her daughter a semi-decent haircut. The lawsuit reads,

Getting a young daughter’s hair cut is not particularly stressful for most mothers, but to Jennifer it is not a routine matter, because Payton has hair typical of an African American girl. To get a decent cut, Jennifer must travel to a black neighborhood, far from where she lives, where she is obviously different in appearance, and not overtly welcome.

It’s bad enough to have to shlep to a hair dresser who can disentangle the mystery that is African American girl hair. On top of that, it seems, Cramblett risks her life every time she ventures into a neighborhood where she is “othered” by African Americans who, presumably, commit hate crimes against her with their eyes.

Continue reading “We Shall overcome: the lesbian sperm bank remix” →

LGBT people are not, actually, all billionaires who brunch 24/7

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Hardcore homophobes and playful pop culture often present the gays, especially gay men, as brunch-eating, artisanal cocktail swigging, shopping-spreeing, swinging singles with disposable income. Shockingly, this is a myth and not reality.

A new report from the Movement Advancement Project and Center for American Progress shatters the myth and reveals that LGBT actually are worse-off financially than their hetero brothers and sisters. For instance, while  39% of non-LGBT adults in the U.S. report they are thriving financially, only  29% of LGBT adults do. While 17% of non-LGBT people who live alone make less than $12,000 a year, 20.7% of LGBT people living alone earn less than $12,000. Transgender people are almost four times as likely to earn less than $10,000 than the rest of the population even though transgender people have much higher rates of college and graduate school education. Single LGBT people with children are three times more likely to be living near the poverty line than the rest of the population with children. And married or partnered LGBT parents are twice as likely to earn incomes close to the poverty line than married or partnered non-LGBT parents. Children raised by same-sex couples are nearly twice as likely to live in poverty than are children raised by married heterosexual couples.

And then, of course, there’s ye ole racism, which dovetails beautifully with homophobia. So, for instance, African Americans in same-sex couples are more than twice as likely to live in poverty as African Americans in married male-female relationships.

The study lays out the three main causes of the financial disadvantages faced by LGBT people:

1. Lack of protection from discrimination means that LGBT people can be fired, denied housing, and refused medically-necessary healthcare simply because they are LGBT. The financial penalty: LGBT people can struggle to find work, make less on the job, and have higher housing and medical costs than their non-LGBT peers. 2.Refusal to recognize LGBT families means that LGBT families are denied many of the same benefits available to non-LGBT families when it comes to health insurance, taxes, vital safety-net programs, and retirement planning. The financial penalty: LGBT families pay more for health insurance, taxes, legal assistance, and essential protection for their families in times of crisis. 3. Failure to adequately protect LGBT students means that LGBT people and their families often face a hostile, unsafe, and unwelcoming environment in local schools, as well as discrimination in accessing financial aid and other support. The financial penalty: LGBT young people and the children of LGBT parents are more likely to perform poorly in school and to face challenges pursuing postsecondary educational opportunities. This, in turn, can reduce their earnings over time, as well as their chances of having successful jobs and careers.

See the infographic of this information below. So, this is the terrible news. But the good news is that we know how to fix the problem. Pass anti-descrimination legislation. I know this seems terrible unjust to those who equate family values with forcing parents and their children to live in poverty. Oh well. They’ll have to get over that.

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Originally posted on RawStory